I’m honestly not sure if I have OCD

I haven’t had the time or means to get a proper diagnosis, but I know i have intrusive thoughts, and I think they’re obsessive? Like I have really bad thanataphobia all of a suddenly like randomly one day I started to obsess over the thought of death, and like afterlife and stuff to the point I’d have a panic attack about literally anything related, and I would have intrusive thoughts about it that would be very intense. It caused me to disassociate for a couple of months. Anyways I’m here looking for support or advice? I just recently got to the point I don’t have the panic attacks, but I still have intrusive thoughts about it. Also I’ve had anxiety about bugs being in my food and drinks to the point I had to throw it away, or bugs being on my skin… anxiety about accidentally harming others. But honestly I feel like I’m making all that up and I’m a big liar for attention, and I feel like I should just delete this but i genuinely want help but I don’t wanna be that person who has like a million different diagnosis. I’ve been diagnosed with BPD depression and anxiety already, and honestly idk if they’re right? Idk if I have compulsions, and I was wondering what compulsive behavior looks or feels like? Maybe I am being overly sensitive or something idk… anything helps… thanks for reading!

Nia18

Date posted: Yesterday

Compulsive behaviour is anything driven by anxiety. You feel like you have to do it or the anxiety is gonna keep going . It can be mental for example mentally reviewing

Taovryou

Date posted: 20h

No i completely understand. for years i convinced myself i didn’t need therapy because i don’t have ocd, and even sometimes now i feel like a fraud but that’s the kind of thing ocd does. like “do i reallyyy have ocd?” when i finally started therapy i scored for moderate-severe ocd. I recommend starting therapy if possible. but you’re not alone in this feeling.

Taovryou

Date posted: 19h

@Taovryou Also compulsive behaviors can be replaying memories, avoidance of fear-inducing places or things, excessively washing or checking things, repeatedly praying.

dannybananny

Date posted: 16h

I am diagnosed with OCD and also have other conditions like autism, ADHD, a couple different anxiety disorders, a couple different depression disorders, BPD, all the fun stuff lol. I’m in therapy three times a week and still have this imposter syndrome of sorts where I at times think I’m wasting my therapists time or I don’t really have OCD. The uncertainty follows no matter what you’ve got to disprove it, which is very OCD lol.

Kevin V

Date posted: 17h

Compulsions can manifest in a variety of ways. The most obvious are physical compulsions, like tapping, saying words, skin picking, hair pulling, exhaling, pacing, etc. They can also be mental, like rumination, mental review, thought erasure or thought suppression. There is also avoidance (avoiding things that you think will trigger the intrusive thoughts) and checking (either checking a physical object/location, or checking how you feel). Most compulsions are driven by urgency. Is there an urgent need to do it? If so, then it might be a compulsion (unless it is something that is immediately life-threatening, like a wild animal running towards you). If it is something where you feel like you can wait and get the answer later, then it might not be a compulsion.

Sadly_singal

Date posted: 12h

@Kevin V Okay, yeah I do a few of these and I guess urgency varies depending on the intrusive thoughts? Like if I think of spiders being in my bed sheets I have to check it multiple times even if I try to rationalize with myself I absolutely have to check it or else I’ll get bitten and die(Never been bit by a spider, and I’m not really scared when I do see a spider… don’t wanna touch it but I’m also not deathly afraid), but other thoughts like my ex stalking me and he’s out of prison and is going to kill me, (he was abusive and is in prison for M*rder) can wait until I’m able to look it up. It’s just hard to rationalize irrational thoughts and fears, but easy to rationalize thoughts of real dangers and threats?

Kevin V

Date posted: 11h

@Sadly_singal Yes. People with OCD can usually still assess genuine threats well, it's just that they also assess some irrational threats as "legitimate". They can even be aware on some level that the threat is irrational, but they will still feel the urge to do the compulsion (or sometimes even do it automatically), even though it will fail to bring relief in the long term. As it stems from irrational fears, the only way to deal with it long term is to accept the uncertainty. It's not comfortable. It's not easy. It's not fast. But it's how you move forward into not having OCD rule your life.

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