Extreme exhaustion and numbness

@Taovryou Are you still in the thick of things or are things slowly getting better.

@#happiness honestly right now it’s horrible. I’m really not ok. I feel like even the light behind my eyes has dimmed. I can see it in myself when I look in the mirror but sometimes i wonder if everyone else can see it. I was doing better for a few months until I started my new job (work in healthcare) and I have contamination OCD. I was ok for a few months and then I went down a horrible spiral, it started small and gradually got much worse. I went on med leave and was supposed to return to work today and had a whole breakdown because i couldn’t do it. i’m supposed to go tomorrow as well and i’m trying to but i still feel that fear lingering everytime i think of it and im losing sleep. I’m in therapy but so far ehh. I’m sure it will help but i’ve only done 3 sessions. Considering starting medication, Dr appointment on monday to see about it. But throughout this journey i’ve almost always had times where i’d be ok for a few months and horrible for a few months, just hoping this time i can go long term and not return back to this state because it’s horrible.

@Taovryou I’m sorry you’re going through this.

@#happiness Thank you it means a lot, but know change is possible, i’ve had times where i’ve been okay. With the right work we can get better!

@Taovryou I started ERP consistently in Aug. I got divorced last year and have been on again off again w my ex husband. He can’t respect my boundaries and doesn’t understand my illness. I finally called it quits w him and am trying to move on. That has taken a big strain off of my recovery. I no longer have intense anxiety but I’ve been having back door spikes and I’m trying to function in normal life by spending time w my kids and volunteering at a nursing home. I don’t know how to just wake up and live like a normal person anymore. I have to force myself to do everything.

@#happiness i can’t imagine not having my husband, just being around him gives me so much peace from ocd I’m sorry you have to go through that. But also i’m glad you were able to respect yourself enough to choose yourself and your boundaries. Im glad you are trying to do things to make you feel better at least, thats the first step. Sooner or later it wont feel like you have to force it ❤️ I completely understand

@Circe908 I’m sorry your also going through this. OCD is such a hard thing to overcome but we can do it!

@#happiness Thank you. It is hard but you’re right, we can.