Relationship not right or is ocd trying to kill it

I have been in a relationship for about 10 months now, I do not feel like I love him. I dont believe he loves me. Its long distance. We have had many arguments and not much honeymoon cuteness recently. I dont feel stable or seen or heard. I need signs if there are any to tell if I should leave the relationship to work on myself and ocd or stay because he knows about it and isnt shaming me for it. I cant tell if I feel genuinely distressed and only have enough feelings for a friendship and want to break up and if im only staying because I fear starting over or the next one breaking my heart idk. I cant tell if all this fear is just ocd trying to kill off a good thing or if im just stupid and not mature enough to handle conflict without thinking we should break up. I really dont know how I feel anymore and I dont know if leaving would help me just focus on me or hurt me even more losing him. Im scared and no one knows im even in a relationship because this is my first one and idk what im doing. I just want to figure out if its my fault or not, if ive lost romantic feelings and stay for the few benefits or if ocd is genuinely ripping my mind apart with fear.

Abi<3

Date posted: Yesterday

Relax girl, perhaps try taking a break and talking to a friend about your doubts and I’m here as well, first relationships can be confusing, but the truth is, it’s all about the experience, if you feel like your enjoying it, then stay, if you feel like your not enjoying it anymore then go, you’ll be fine either way. It might feel like the end of the world, but think about all the people and family you have to support you, or even your pets, life goes on. You’re not a bad person for feeling the way you do, your human, and the only way to know if we’re doing the right or wrong thing is to make mistakes and experience. Remember life is a journey and there is no final destination. Perhaps make a list of the bad vs the good and if the bad outweighs the good then maybe it’s time to move on, and that’s okay. And if you’re worried about him I’m sure he’ll be fine. Perhaps you guys could just be friends, relationships are stronger than we think. And if not, then at least you guys will both be happy but separately living your daily lives. What exactly have you guys argued about that’s causing the issues? Also, this is going to sound silly but maybe try talking to ai about your problems, even though it’s dumb it genuinely gives good advice or try talking to your boyfriend about how you feel to get it off your chest, so that way your at least being honest with him, but remember you can’t get upset by the way that he reacts, well like if he needs to take time to himself or doesn’t talk to you right away, your both just people. (Also I’m kind of in a similar situation but it’s not my first relationship, so don’t worry, you’re not alone.)

Starrie

Date posted: 15h

Thank you for the advice, the issues have either been him upset at me for like not spending enough effort or time for him (we hang out every day and sleep on call?) Or me just being insecure that he is cheating in any type of way or doesnt like me enough to fall in love or stay. I have what I believe are valid reasons for being afraid when I have but I do realize I could have handled the way I approached it better and ik he could have just thought a bit more before saying stuff he did idk it would be a lot to explain. If you have any issues you would like to talk about, im am very open to helping.

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