Any advice ? Cheating ocd ?

@Tea and Honey Now I’m I can’t remember when we first found it idk if it was a few months after he brought the car or a year after . I really don’t know . My memory is all jumbled up. Like ik it happened but the timing I don’t know anymore . Does your comment still apply to this situation?

@Tiredoflife Yes!!!! My comment still applies. Your OCD wants to you to FIGURE IT OUT. Your OCD tells you that that have to REMEMBER PERFECTLY. But you don't... :):):) --------------------- In order to defeat the OCD, I want you to practice two things right now . 2.) Don't try to figure this situation out. 1.) Don't try to remember how it went. Instead, let the whole situation go. I know it is VERY UNCOMFORTABLE to do that. The OCD is going to scream at you that you have to fix the situation, that you have to figure it out, that you have to find out the truth, that you have to remember, and so on and so on. The OCD is going to make you experience a spike of anxiety when you ignore its demands. But you need to "ride out "the spike of anxiety, just like a surfer "rides out" a wave. The wave is going to get bigger before it ebbs out and gets smaller. But the more you practice riding it out, the easier it will be the next time that you face a wave. Do you think you can do this? I'll be right here to support you through it! If you can do this, you will be taking a big chunk out of your OCD. In other words, you will be taking a big step to defeat this monster called OCD. Right now, the OCD wants to control you and manipulate you. But if you do start letting things go, you are fighting back. And you will be learning how to defeat this monster. You can do it!

@Tea and Honey Thank you for this really appreciate. Ever since I discovered his porn addiction I lost all trust in him so when this is brought up I want to believe that he would never go that far like I always believed I still believes it but now it’s like what if . But I feel like I would have more evidence if he was that type of person . I hope I can just move on a from this and focus on improving our relationship.

@Tea and Honey He’s lied to me for years about his porn addiction but I still don’t believe he would go that far as to physically cheat on me . I hope both can be true

@Tiredoflife I think it's OK for you to put the porn addiction and the clip into 2 (two) separate categories. The porn addiction IS an issue, and it does undermine trust. And I think it's OK to pursue the fact that you are hurt by that--and that it has hurt your trust. The clip is unclear in your memory. It's not worth trying to figure out or detangle. You don't need certainty about it. You will need more evidence before you start worrying about your boyfriend (from this perspective). However, the OCD is going to scream at you that you need to remember it perfectly and figure it out. But at this point, it's OK to just let it go. So don't feel bad about letting the clip go! And talk to your boyfriend more about the porn addiction if you want to. And go forward, because it sounds like your boyfriend really loves you and cares about you.

@Tea and Honey What spiraled this topic is bc I found an earring in our bathroom yesterday and I don’t wear earringsBUT we had his family living with us (sister , nieces. , mom and dad ) last year and they used the guest bathroom a lot and I don’t be going in there a lot I do nt remember if I ever cleaned the bathroom. But it could be from his sister he said . But they lived with us last year . Also my bf works 14 days straight and is off 7 days . And we have cameras outside only . I’m literally home more than him. But during his 14 day hitch he comes home every 3 days until his hitch is over . So I also don’t believe that he brought someone In our house . So once I found that then this old memory popped up . Can I still apply what you told me to this situation as well? Bc I’m literally home more than him.so if he were to do something it wouldn’t be at home but I’m sure he wouldn’t go that far . Should I let this go too ? :( I want to but the what ifs . But there literally no way he cheated in our home bc again we have cameras outside and I’m home more than he is .

@Tea and Honey Also how old are you and do you happen to have any socials I can add you on to talk about ocd in private ? Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me

@Tiredoflife Hmmm, it seems like since you were home so much that it is very unlikely that the earring means anything. I don't think it warrants worrying too much.

@Tiredoflife I'm getting "old," lol, so I'm old enough to know a little about relationships in the long-term. I don't have any other socials really. I know how much OCD inflicts pain on us. It can make it very hard to navigate things. I'm sorry you are going through this. Things will get easier later!

@Tea and Honey I feel Like it’s from when his whole family was staying with us for months last year plus I don’t relaly go in that bathroom . And it’s impossible for him to bring someone in here if we have cameras inside . And he only home 7 days out the month . Should I just move on from this :( Ik you said i shouldn’t worry but if you was in this position would you move on ?

@Tiredoflife Yes, I would!!! You have lots of evidence to support that there is not a problem. If there is a problem, other things will come to light later. But it sounds like it's probably okay:):):)

@josiah9 The car was clean when we got it but I guess must’ve missed something