- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi!! Thank you this post was really helpful I've screenshotted it. :) Can I ask a question? I've been struggling with a harm false memory. The last three weeks I've let it have complete and total power over me. I've been ruminating, obsessing, asking for reassurance, googling, Extreme guilt, sobbing, not going outside. The biggest thing I've been struggling with is "you're actually in denial, your OCD isn't real. You're a bad person. The minute you believe its OCD then its game over ' sort of thing. What would you suggest? Also thank you so much for reading this!!.?
- Date posted
- 5y
Hello! All these things you are telling me are all things I've felt, you aren't alone :) my advice would be to little by little stop the reassurance, googling and avoidance as these are all rituals! By doing these you are giving power to the thoughts that are alarming to you. Ocd will tell you all sorts of lies but believe it or not, you have the choice to not believe them. Whenever your ocd tells lies to you such as ”you’re actually in denial” ”the minute you believe it's ocd then it's game over” or anything in between, a good way to work through this is to either agree with it and use sarcasm then refrain from doing ANY and ALL compulsions. It will be distressing but this will help you work through it. I also highly suggest seeking a ERP specialist as they will be able to guide you through this process.
- Date posted
- 5y
@mimimattaliano Thank you for such a thoughtful and kind response !! One last thing- sometimes I have a moment of clarity but then the nature of my thoughts shock me. Then I'm like something as shocking as that must be real who else would think these things? I guess I could combat that with the sarcastic comeback like you mentioned :)
- Date posted
- 5y
@Daffodil Thats a good idea! Try it and let me know how it goes :). Remember you got this!
- Date posted
- 5y
@mimimatt Thank you this is the first bit of hope I've had in days :) all the best!
- Date posted
- 5y
@mcra Thank you!!
- Date posted
- 5y
@mcra This is a great technique at calling out ocd!
- Date posted
- 5y
@mimimatt Yikes again I just had a thought. "THIS IS TOO SERIOUS AND HORRIBLE YOU CANT JUST BRUSH THIS OFF' such is the nature of OCD sigh
- Date posted
- 5y
@Daffodil It knows you are not letting it get to you and it's trying everything it can to get your attention! It's trying to gain back it's power. Don't let it. You got this.
- Date posted
- 5y
@mimimatt Thank you, what you've said makes a lot of sense. It's so kind of you to talk to me. Thank you ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I like the creature analogy. I would also say recognizing is important and remembering that some intrusive thoughts could be irrational is helpful.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 21w
As a 20+ year OCD vet and OCD conqueror. I wanted to share some tips and tricks that help me. 1. A thought is not the same as a belief. You can think something, and not believe it in the slightest. 2. Thoughts DO NOT represent ANYTHING. They are not indicators to who we are as people, they are pop up ads for the brains computer. 3. We DO NOT control our thoughts! The average person has about 60,000 ( yes, 4 zeros) a day! NONE of which are controlled. 4. We DO have control over which of those 60k thoughts are important. i.e. thought A. I could murder my entire household- survey says? not important ( because yea, sure, you could, but you probably don't really want to) thought B. i need to do my laundy-survey says? important... unfortunately, i hate laundry. which brings me to number 5. 5. Emotional reasoning ( where you let your feelings impact your decisions) is a COGNITIVE DISTORTION. It is a flawed thought process and should NEVER be used. "wanting to do something" does not mean you SHOULD do it, same and sometimes NOT wanting to do something doesn't mean you shouldn't do it ( picked what is important) my brain might tell me i WANT to break up with my husband, ( unimportant) and it might also say i don't want to get up and go to work in the morning ( important). 6. YOU-ARE-IN-CONTROL. Not to be confused with HAVING control. We don't control our thoughts, we control which ones are important, we don't control our feelings or emotions, but we control how to react (or not react) to them. We don't control our OCD, but we can control how it affects our lives, and that can mean that is has all the power, or none. 7. If the action you want to do ( confess, get reassurance, check, analyze, avoid, re-do) are to gain relief from anxiety, IT IS A COMPULSION. DO NOT DO IT. Sit with the anxiety and train your brain to realize its not dangerous or important with ERP ( this takes time, but practice makes perfect) 8. Know your enemy. NOCD has a HUGE amount of articles and information on ALL subtypes of OCD and how to respond and how to treat them. OCD is MUCH easier to combat when you understand how it works. 9. BE PATIENT. BE KIND to yourself. Prioritize healthy habits, a healthy body is better equipped to handle OCD. Good sleep, whole foods, sunlight, social interaction, exercise ( walking especially). When the mind feels weak, make the body strong. 10. You are not alone. OCD is classified by the World Health Organization as one of the top 10 most distressing disorders. Reach out to people, seek medical help. Medication is not evil, it can be life-saving, TALK to people. Bonus Tips * if the question is " What If" its OCD. * Total certainty does not exist, be content with 99%* *"But this feels different, this feels like its not OCD, that its real*- emotional reasoning... its OCD. Hang in there. You got this. Im here for any advice, questions, or support. Today is a great day to have a GREAT DAY.
- Date posted
- 19w
I had just posted a summary of ERP for a group member, and I thought it might be useful for everybody. Here it is below (with a little extra added)…. ERP therapy is researched-based. Most other therapies don’t work. There have been people who have been literally stuck in their houses (from their OCD) who gained their lives back through ERP therapy. NOCD does ERP therapy exclusively. You can find it in other places too, but you have to ask around. There are two tenants of ERP therapy: The first one has to do with the repetitive thoughts inside our heads. These thoughts are actually defined as “obsessions”. You are not supposed to do anything with the obsessions. You are supposed to let them run through your head freely, without trying to fix them or stop them. Imagine a tree planted by a river. The leaves fall off and float down the river. You can see the leaves falling, but you don’t try to stop them or pick them up. You don’t try to fix them. You just let them float away. This is really important to do with your obsessive thoughts. The more you try to fight them off, the worse they get. I used to have blasphemous sentences running in my head 24/7. I felt like I had to put a “not” next to each sentence in order to “fix” it. But this just took hours of my time every day, and it was very scary, because I was worried that if I messed up, that I would go to hell. It was very freeing to learn later that I could just let those sentences run freely through my head without trying to fix them. The second part of ERP therapy is all about “denying your compulsions.” Every time OCD tells you that if you don’t do things a certain way that something really bad will happen, that is a compulsion. Once you recognize what your compulsions are, ERP therapy will have you practice stopping doing all of those things. For some people, that will mean stopping washing their hands or touching lights switches or, in my case, putting “fixing” words in their head. Compulsions are safety behaviors. During ERP therapy, you will practice stopping engaging with safety behaviors. All this is very hard to do and scary, so during therapy you will be given tools to help you deal with the fear. Often ERP therapy will take people from being non-functional to functional. I highly recommend it. ————————————————- PITFALL #1: After you have been doing ERP for a while and become somewhat successful, the OCD will try subtle little tricks to bring you down again. The first one is to tell you that your thoughts are REAL and not OCD, and therefore you can’t apply ERP therapy. Don’t fall for this trick! All thoughts are just thoughts. They are all meaningless. Don’t try to figure out what is real and what is OCD. Just treat all thoughts with ERP therapy. PITFALL #2: The second pitfall is that OCD will tell you that you can’t move forward unless you have absolute certainty that you will be safe. Hate to tell you this, folks, but there is no certainty in life. You will never know for SURE that you or your loved ones will be “safe” from the OCD rules. Therefore, you have to move forward in the uncertainty. It’s hard, but it gets easier with time and practice. We got this, guys !!!!!!
- Date posted
- 16w
Remember thoughts are just thoughts, feelings are just feelings. We generally cannot control our thoughts or feelings, and even groinal responses. No matter how much you want to, they just happen and they 100% happen more when you’re worried about them happening, instead except it. Say “that’s just my silly thoughts again” or whatever it may be, say oh it’s just that silly thing again. Don’t try to work it out, don’t try to ignore it, allow them to come but don’t solve them. Just expect that they’re there . The best advise I was ever told is OCD is like a drunk person, they start to say silly things such as “omg I’m such a silly person” or “Ong you’re so great you’re the strongest person alive” you don’t actually believe what they say because they’re speaking nonsense, but you most likely will reply with “oh yes you’re right” because you’re trying to just please them, but it doesn’t mean you agree with them. You’re just trying to “shut them up” basically. For example if you kept saying “no I’m not” “not that’s not true” “no don’t be silly” the drunk person would carry on saying “no yes you are” etc etc… this is the same with ocd, the more you try to argue with it and say “no this isn’t true” the more it’ll say “yes it is” however if you just say “yes okay you’re right” (even tho it’s not) it’ll start to show ocd that you aren’t picking a fight anymore, you’re just excepting it and it’ll start to get easier. Trust me you aren’t alone in this. Ocd is scary. But you can do this. Some other techniques that have helped me massively is this… When you’re getting these unwanted thoughts etc, name 5 things you can see around you, 2 things you can smell or 2 things you like the smell of, 3 things you can hear and 5 things you can feel, such as touch your hair etc and describe how it feels, etc. this is a way of just distracting yourself. It’s a very good technique for ocd and I went from getting 20 showed a day due to my ocd down to 3 showers a day…. From using this. It works!!! Or take deep breaths that also helps people You aren’t a bad person, you’re just suffering with ocd and that doesn’t make you a bad person
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