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It might be OCD. But I also feel that takes away from accountability? Because I DID do bad things in my life and it annoys me when people tell me to downplay it. Yes it may be because of trauma, but it still happened and I can't stand it when people try to make excuses for me. Not saying you're doing that for me, but people seem to think it's as bad as calling someone stupid 10 years ago when it's much, much worse than that.

@Generiname I understand where you're coming from as I have similar thoughts at times. What helps me is to imagine another person in the same situation. Someone with so much potential for good, who made a genuine fuck up and feels bad about it. I dont think accountability should ever entail infinite mental suffering for them. Carrying endless guilt and self loathing. Never having a moment to relax. Shame is a very heavy emotion, and reocd shame is not something I wish on anyone. Besides the torture aspect, it just isnt productive and does not help make the world a better place. It just keeps someone with a lot of potential stuck in the past. I hope this take helps

@Generiname Yes, people can do bad things. But do you define a person by a single action? 2 actions? 3 actions? A person is a series of experiences and choices. Some of those experiences/choices are bad, some are good, and some are neutral. You still want certainty about the morality of your being. You are not accepting of the possibility that maybe you are more than your worst day. Chronic guilt is not helpful. In chosing to continue being guilty, you are abandoning your present self to instead spend time looking back on something you can no longer change. You don't have to agree with that past action/event. But if you refuse to move on, that helps no one. If it becomes a problem in the future, face it then. But it is not a problem for you to solve right now.