Real-Event Help.

A question for people suffering with real-event OCD where they have ACTUALLY done something wrong. I'm not just saying something your OCD considers wrong, but is generally considered bad. Yes this may have been decades and decades ago. I know many of you have changed into wonderful people. How do YOU cope? How do you handle the guilt and shame? I'm trying to accept that I've grown as a human bring, but it's gotten worse during my flareup.

Robin234

Date posted: 12h

I relate to this massively. It is so difficult. I’m not sure I have an answer for you actually. Just know that what you’re feeling is still OCD. I tried to ground myself in the present but I know that’s hard.

Generiname

Date posted: 12h

It might be OCD. But I also feel that takes away from accountability? Because I DID do bad things in my life and it annoys me when people tell me to downplay it. Yes it may be because of trauma, but it still happened and I can't stand it when people try to make excuses for me. Not saying you're doing that for me, but people seem to think it's as bad as calling someone stupid 10 years ago when it's much, much worse than that.

Dasypus

Date posted: 11h

@Generiname I understand where you're coming from as I have similar thoughts at times. What helps me is to imagine another person in the same situation. Someone with so much potential for good, who made a genuine fuck up and feels bad about it. I dont think accountability should ever entail infinite mental suffering for them. Carrying endless guilt and self loathing. Never having a moment to relax. Shame is a very heavy emotion, and reocd shame is not something I wish on anyone. Besides the torture aspect, it just isnt productive and does not help make the world a better place. It just keeps someone with a lot of potential stuck in the past. I hope this take helps

Kevin V

Date posted: 9h

@Generiname Yes, people can do bad things. But do you define a person by a single action? 2 actions? 3 actions? A person is a series of experiences and choices. Some of those experiences/choices are bad, some are good, and some are neutral. You still want certainty about the morality of your being. You are not accepting of the possibility that maybe you are more than your worst day. Chronic guilt is not helpful. In chosing to continue being guilty, you are abandoning your present self to instead spend time looking back on something you can no longer change. You don't have to agree with that past action/event. But if you refuse to move on, that helps no one. If it becomes a problem in the future, face it then. But it is not a problem for you to solve right now.

tedlassoenjo...

Date posted: 6h

lowkey I really relate to this,,,,like my real event is a result of my ocd intrusive thoughts not being properly medicated, and didn’t hurt anyone directly but like I have beaten myself up everyday for 5+ years and still think about it, however, I have been doing intensive erp where my therapist has told me to like do various exercises that are like exposures to the possibility of being a terrible awful person,, none of which are particularly enjoyable, however it is helping by a significant amount already!!! :)

Generiname

Date posted: 6h

I think I'm just tired of this loop, you know? I can go for weeks or even months without letting it get to me this bad, but then it'll loop back and I feel completely stuck. Thank you for your support, and this goes for everyone who commented. I know I have done terrible things due to substance abuse, trauma, yada yada yada... and whilst it doesn't count as an excuse, I'm allowed to look at that and go "there's a reason why you did this." I'm no longer a terrible person, and even back then I'd say I wasn't either. I just did very bad things.

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