Tips for feeing lonely / rant

Anyone feel less lonely when isolating? It’s rather empowering because I no longer get disappointed by others lack of reciprocation. However, I don’t want to be a recluse either and I find the OCD is quieter when I’m around others. I also highly recommend deleting instagram or at least deactivating it if you’re feeling lonely. I’ve said this before the whole trial started but that app’s UI is designed to get you addicted and the whole interface itself is toxic with how you can message people, see others’ following and followers, be left on read while someone’s still online.. the fact that receipts are enabled by default and you can’t turn them off (as far as I’m aware) It just breeds internalization, seeing tagged posts of friends to go out somewhere who may’ve invited your other friends but not you. I’ve been ghosted by all of my college friends which I can’t pinpoint why after self reflecting and I don’t have any friends from high school left as they’ve also ghosted me too after graduating despite us being buddy buddy. It’s whatever. Part of me is afraid to casually open up to this about other people because they’ll assume I’m the common denominator but ghosting is too normalized in our culture idk. There’s times it’s definitely warranted but often times I feel like it’s people just inconsiderately pulling the plug to people whom they feel indifferent about. It messed with me not having that closure and internalizing like I was the common denominator, I started self jeopardizing the good friendships I did have because I felt perpetually rejected my whole life. But then I have moments of clarity and realize that there are plenty of times where I’m cherished(?) by others and that I simply have tunnel vision because a bad go of it with my adolescence, a fundamental building block into adulthood. I remember reading a post about someone saying how they had no friends and me and some other person replied with how teachers in school made better friends than your actual friends 😭 When adults reciprocate with you, or compliment you, take that and hold it close because they’ve been around longer and are able to sus out bullshit and good character traits. I had this sweet staff member who was a caretaker for a special needs student i was really friendly with say a simple sentence that still sticks with me to this day and it really boosts my self esteem to where i’m starting to be content with myself

Gato0z

Date posted: 6h

Agreed. I’m only 20 but when I graduated it become nearly impossible to make quality friends. My entire junior year I sat in my teacher’s classroom instead of the cafeteria. I’ve managed to keep two friends since elementary school and that’s it. I’ve meet people through attending events/investing in hobbies, but I have no friendships that I can say are “ride or die.” I’ve deleted my socials as well because it’s not worth it. Most people ghost or having nothing valuable to say.

Gato0z

Date posted: 6h

I don’t have any tips unfortunately, but I understand the struggle. I’m not sure if you relate but It’s hard to be authentic and attract people that value your personality for what it is and not the persona you let on

JeffTheGiraffe

Date posted: 5h

@Gato0z I get ya. I have like two natural personalities that I default to depending on the setting. I’m neurodivergent and the more comfortable I’m around someone the more odd I will act but I don’t feel i’m ever putting on a facade because i’m still the same person, just toned a little down depending on setting + i’ve been subconsciously doing this since I was a child. I’m glad you were able to recognize to delete instagruel. that’s what i call it 😭

Taovryou

Date posted: 6h

yes and no, i’ve gotten used to not rlly having any friends. there is people i know and i know them but i don’t consider them my friends just associates. I have a bestfriend and besides her i don’t really desire to make friends because it doesn’t often work out for me. But friendships are good and im glad to have atleast one. I hope you find your people

JeffTheGiraffe

Date posted: 5h

@Taovryou I’m not sure if they’re “my people” but they’re the best I got and I appreciate them dearly. I have two online friends from 2013 who I met on a Minecraft server 💀 other than that I have no other friends like that, I do luckily have quite a few acquaintances who i get along with but yeah

JeffTheGiraffe

Date posted: 5h

@Taovryou I’m glad you have a friend btw. Everyone needs a friend. Humans are meant to be social creatures even if we don’t admit it

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