Hi 🫶

It all started with my studies abroad. While trying to adapt to a new environment and a country, I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety regarding safety—like fear of theft or harassment. But more than that, I’ve been living with a constant fear of accidentally offending someone or unintentionally disrespecting local values. I have deep respect for the culture here, but because I’m so afraid of making a social mistake, I feel very tense. I managed to get my C1 certificate within a year and I’m starting school in a week, but I’m still scared of being misunderstood. Have others experienced this fear of 'accidental disrespect' while adapting, and how did you overcome it? Note: I used a translator to help express these complex feelings, so I hope my intent comes through clearly and isn't misunderstood."

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Hi! Congrats on C1! Wow that’s an accomplishment. It’s ok to feel nervous in a new place. Totally normal. Respectfully, (and unrelated to OCD) I highly recommend trying to find shared values, commonalities and connections with the citizens. You mention “conflicts w the values” and I encourage you to look with a curious and compassionate lense. May you find shared values or something that unites you as humans. As travelers and guests in another space, it’s our responsibility to listen, learn and practice open-mindedness to new cultures. Best of luck

vampyx

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous I’ve always loved learning about new cultures and meeting new people, and that hasn't changed since I moved here. When I mentioned 'conflicting with values,' I specifically meant the fear of accidentally offending someone or unintentionally disrespecting their values. Deep down, I don't have any fundamental disagreements with the culture; I’m just afraid of hurting someone's feelings by mistake. Thank you so much for your support!

Anonymous

Date posted: 16h

@vampyx Oh that’s great! In that case, go you! Be proud and keep on going. It will get easier. OCD can be present wherever we go, so might aswell be somewhere cool. And it wil get so much easier. Keep being open to it, and be easy on yourself, and it’s gonna be fine. Plus, kudos on the C1, that’s legit a huge accomplishment

vampyx

Date posted: 16h

@Anonymous Thank you very much, I hope everything goes well.

halmel

Date posted: Yesterday

Hi. It's been 6 months since I moved to a new country very very far away. And I soemtiems get these thoughts, too. Like everything else in OCD, the less you do compulsions the better you get, there's no other way to recover and heal. If I sat down and pay attention to that thought and feeling I'd very soon develop a new obsession too. Don't push them, our brain doesn't understand the difference between pulling and pushing. Let them be there, don't pay attention

vampyx

Date posted: Yesterday

@halmel I think my general fear is failing here and returning without completing my education; I think I need to elaborate on that.

vampyx

Date posted: Yesterday

@vampyx By the way, thank you very much, I hope you have a safe and pleasant journey as well.

halmel

Date posted: Yesterday

@vampyx Oh god. You are experiencing my exact obsession. And I failed before in another country for my masters. I had like a phobia of leaving something unfinished for couple of years after. Know that this is a compulsion my friend. Catch your brain at the moment in which it is trying to “measure” whether you’re gonna “fail” or not.

Anonymous

Date posted: 16h

@halmel Amén :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 16h

@vampyx You got this. There’s no such thing as “failing at educational accomplishments”. I know that can be hard to feel/believe. Being there matters. You’re doing enough :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 16h

@halmel Yup :)

vampyx

Date posted: 16h

@Anonymous Actually, I'm under some pressure, and I don't want to disappoint my family. Still, I'll keep fighting 💪

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