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@Anonymous Leaning into the opposite has never worked for me because it’s exactly what I don’t want. I don’t want to not love my boyfriend or be attracted to other people. How do you do erp if you don’t want what you need to “accept” ?

@Emmba OCD is typically a liar, my OCD told me if I leaned into certain things I would eventually commit s, I’m still here, of course I’m only a month and a half into treatment but my results in a small span are amazing. I learned you either feed it and make it worse, or you lean into it, accept you will never be able to give your brain that level of reassurance that it’s asking for. Trust me it gets worse before it gets better, the reassurance seeking calms you down but pushes the snowball down the mountain. But if you’ve tried erp and it doesn’t work for you I understand everyone’s different and this worked a good bit for me.

@Anonymous I want it to work but most of my fear is cheating on my fiance and that’s a really hard thing to be like “it’s okay you may have cheated and don’t remember” because if it did happen it’s not okay and would ruin my life. Ya know? I just don’t know how it make it work with that situation

@Anonymous I’m glad it’s been going good for you though! :)

@Emmba That’s the awful thing about OCD it takes what you value most, it’s also what makes us so strong, my suggestion is dive deep into what “ruin my life” means for you with a therapist or if you really can’t ChatGPT or something similar, the fear is rooted in something but usually regardless has to be faced. Another thing I’ve heard of but never tried is MCT, changing your relationship with your thoughts. To me that seemed more challenging but could work for you, has a good track record with ocd as well.

@Emmba It’s not supposed to work in the sense that it makes you feel better, it’s supposed to be uncomfortable. You learn that discomfort is not dangerous, the more you expose yourself to it, the more your brain stops sending those threatening signals. The goal isn’t to make the thoughts go away, but the thoughts become so stupid and unimportant through ERP they almost make you laugh at it. You cannot stop the thoughts by disagreeing, but getting through them. ERP is not comfortable, but that’s why it works. Accept that it’s uncomfortable, accept the discomfort that you may not love your boyfriend - and as someone w ROCD that’s no longer a theme you’ll come out of the other side of it (and newsflash - ocd is a liar, and i’m certain you love your bf) The way out is through, you’ve got this!

@Elena Alvarez Thank you that makes sense. Maybe it was the way I was being told to go through ERP? Because my therapist (she got a new job:/) would say like imagine life where you did do xxx or a scenario where you xxx and with cheating that’s just impossible for me to do. It’s something completely against my morals … but maybe that’s the point? Idk but i appreciate your explanation and it was helpful

@Anonymous Thank you I have seen things similar to that related to God and letting God take care of and change the relationship that way. I’ll look into that more. Thank you!