I think I messed up...

When I first started nocd like 2 months ago maybe, I told my therapist that whenever I had any intrusive thoughts or images while I pray or just in general, I make myself think about Jesus on the cross ✝️. For me, it helps me shift my focus on what He did for me and who ive taken as my faithful God and Savior. And when I told my therapist that, after a few sessions of me mentioning it she told me that although its okay to think about Jesus, that i shouldn't think about Him at the same time. And dont get me wrong, I love my therapist, she's awesome, and I just feel like i want to be able to have someone that has experience with helping people with ocd while having a God-driven perspective. Im so worried that I said something wrong or that i somehow by talking about how thinking about Jesus on the cross, that ive messed up and driven her away from God in a sense, even though I dont know her religious beliefs and I dont really plan to discuss it. Im scared cus idk if my therapist can read my post (she probably can and I think I kind of want her to) and i dont want her to think that she did anything wrong. I dont want to change her as a therapist, as in get a new one, I just want someone more God-driven (at least openly and that I can talk to). Idk if i should talk to her about this because its been on my mind since ive started therapy here. I dont want her to feel like she's failed and I dont want her to take any of this personally. Does anyone have advice?

5150gsd

Date posted: Yesterday

If it’s bothering you that much you should talk to her about it. I think she is here to help you with your OCD shes not a spiritual guide. It sounds like you are really over thinking this. That’s your OCD talking and playing tricks on you. She can’t help you if you don’t tell her what is wrong.

Katherine C ♡

Date posted: Yesterday

Thank you for the advice!!!

NODA💕

Date posted: Yesterday

I have found your post after all. 👍👋😊. I must say I agree with 5150gsd. I think it is important for you to be able to express whatever you are feeling and what bothers you with your therapist. You can each express your impressions and feelings. If she does not cooperate, than she is not the right therapist for you. 2. I believe OCD makes us, me deffinitely, scared of conflicts so we avoid at all cost anything that could cause a negative response from a person. I honestly avoid phone calls and face to face talking about important things. Trivial no problem. But as soon as it gets personal, I as a rule turn to texts, emails,... I hate that about myself, I know I am being a spineless coward, but the feat and anxiety are too strong. 3. It could be that your doctor saw your mentioning Jesus as a possibility that it might turn into a new obsession or a way of reassurance. 4. I don't think she has issues with Jesus, with you leaning on Jesus. At least she shouldn't have. 5. I totally know how you feel. I am also trying to please other people even at the risk that I become less equal to them. I slowly lose myself. 6. I am sending you a big hug. I am sure everything will turn out just fine. 🤗😊

5150gsd

Date posted: Yesterday

@NODA💕 Wow very well put 👍

Katherine C ♡

Date posted: Yesterday

Thank you so much NODA. You have no idea how much you have helped me. You, along with 5150gsd have allowed me to have a newfound courage to be able to talk to her. I will read this post to her. Thank you all!

NODA💕

Date posted: 19h

@Katherine C ♡ Good luck. And know, you have support here and people who care about YOU! Please let me know how it goes. You have made a great decission. I am proud of You and You should be proud of yourself, too.

Katherine C ♡

Date posted: 16h

@NODA💕 Thank you dear Noda. I think that this will be a thank you chain if we keep on going 😂

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