Help Hi there, I’ve been dealing with a recent flare up for 2 months now, it’s destroying me. One thought has turned into an obsession about a whole topic. I’ve been testing myself with scenarios and feel nothing, just numb . I’ve been reading about the topic and feel nothing, no horror, no anger, no disgust and it’s really killing me inside . Has anyone experienced anything like this? I don’t want to be a bad person 😭
Yeah, that's very common, just leave it there, don't analyze it anymore, "why don't I feel disgusted?" "why don't I feel scared?" Don't analyze it like that anymore🤗
I think it's okay to just know that it is wrong. Not everything has to be emotional
Then the brain throws maybe I don’t think it’s wrong or bad 😭😭😭 It’s killing me
My biggest struggle for the past month has been derealization, dissociation and existential OCD. I’ve been over analyzing my every thought and it’s driving me nuts.
i’m currently going through this myself with POCD. it’s not easy😣 just know that we’re not bad people, and our thoughts don’t correlate with our morals🫶
That’s my theme too. The fact that I know it’s wrong and can’t feel anything towards the thoughts or the topic is killing me.
@Dee_86 literallyy, it distresses me when i’m thinking about it, but also distresses me if im not thinking about it. like just let me be happy 😭
@kiara.ross - It’s hell. I keep going back to the thoughts and the topic. I’m so uncomfortable around kids now 😭
So here’s the thing about ocd and anxiety: if feeing anxious, or uncomfortable, or disgusted, or whatever in response to your intrusive thoughts is actually giving you reassurance that it’s “just ocd” and therefore “not real,” your ocd will pull out a new trick: numbness. Or even positive sensations. Anything really to get you back on the ocd train doing compulsions (like testing yourself, hyper fixating on observing your body, analyzing past reactions, trying to prove/disprove the thoughts, etc.) Stop performing compulsions. They can never and will never give you the answer you want with the certainty you think you need. Instead, learn to sit with the discomfort these thoughts may bring up without compulsions. Just feel. Breath. And choose to go back to your day.
I’ve been in this flare up for 2 months, it’s killing me inside not having the reaction to the thoughts/topic you should have. I’m a shell of my old self. My brain is trying to convince me these thoughts and this topic isn’t bad. I just cry constantly 😭
@Dee_86 Stop trying to look to your reactions for proof you’re not a bad person. Your ocd will never let you have the answer you want with the level of certainty ocd demands.
@pureolife - I’m just so scared 😭
@Dee_86 You’re scared now and your compulsions aren’t helping you be any less scared. Resisting compulsions is scary. Especially at first. It has to be scary otherwise ocd wouldn’t be able to keep tricking you into doing them. But I promise it gets easier with practice. And after enough practice you’ll get way more clarity than with your compulsions
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