How to forgive someone

I am in the same boat and I’m so exhausted. I wish I had the answer, I’m struggling with it right now— after an amazing day with my husband I wake up this morning just flooded with false evidence and even tho I’ve been able to control my reactions ((so far)) ex: not asking for reassurance that nothing is going on. Even if I’m able to control the words that come out of my mouth for a moment he can still tell where my head is and I know how badly it hurts him. I say all that to let you know you are not alone and I hope someone else comes on this thread with some reassurance that they’ve been able to make it stop LOL

I relate to this a lot. I recently reconciled with a friend (sb I had a crush on aswell) and we both talked about this a lot since we both did somewhat shitty things to each other and we also both regret it. I was the one suggesting we take our time to regain each other’s trust again. And so far it seems like she really fully trusts me again (based on all our current and former interactions, probably even more than before our fallout) and I’m as skeptical as I possibly could be. I try to not make it obvious but I just don’t trust her and I don’t know if I can. And I also don’t know if I actually even want to trust her anymore because I feel like I put in so much effort to reconcile and now I’m just kind of stuck between blurry memories of the beginning of our friendship and the time before that. I’m also not sure what exactly this person did that hurt you (e.g. if it was something as bad as cheating, then I think the reason you can’t “get over it” is more than valid and not just your OCD trying to sabotage you. But if it’s something like forgetting the same thing more than twice, then I guess your brain is trying to “protect” you from future problems with said person by constantly reminding you of their bad habits to overcompensate possible disappointment.) I feel like this is exactly what is happening to me with my friend, and although I can give a somewhat logical explanation to sb else about the situation, I understand how strong those feelings actually are in your actual life since I also go against every logic in my case. So I hope this at least gave you a bit of insight on what could possibly be going on, I’d still advise you to talk to a therapist because it involves another person and I do not know the entire situation.