Masking

I hear you. I used to feel like this. At times, now I feel like I don’t care anymore about the thoughts. When I really move on with my life and realize there’s nothing to figure out and let my OCD be background noise is when I feel my best. I’ve come to terms that this is a journey, but that I have a life to live. I refuse to let OCD have control over my life. I sit through the discomfort, I don’t figure anything out and that is when I started feeling better. Becoming an expert at tolerating I guess is the trick. Congratulations on being a father. It’s one of my dreams. :) You have a lot to be thankful for.

I relate to this a lot right now! I’ve had a lot of back and forth in how present I’ve felt lately and have been in more of a slump with compulsions. It’s really hard to struggle and mental health in general has a great way of making us feel like everyone around us is functioning and we are just alone in our worries,anxieties and depression. It will keep easier! Keep practicing and showing up for yourself. This is hard but important work!

Hi Rrego1500 👋 You’re definitely not alone! OCD can make me feel like an alien in public. Masking to people please became a survival strategy that I am still working hard to unlearn. Combined with GADS/PTSD, my feelings simply don’t align with my circumstances in social gatherings. My brain knows this is a happy, pleasant moment, but sometimes dread or feeling “off” clouds things. It makes it tough to stay present and enjoy those small moments that —before you know it—have made up your whole year. I’ve been incorporating more grounding exercises and small pauses in these social settings. A quick mental reset where I close my eyes and focus on the next few breaths, and how they feel in my body. A quick feel of the fabric of my clothes or the texture of the chair or table I am sitting near. Anything to keep me in the present space and moment. It’s been working pretty well!

Good job dropping the labels! Anxiety with OCD is really rough. I’ve been in therapy about 1.5 yrs. now. I noticed roller-coasters coincide with life-changes for me—anything that introduces uncertainty also activates OCD. The trick is to keep adapting tools I’ve learned in therapy to keep up with any changes. It is a lot of work and quite terrifying to stop masking and start connecting with yourself and others on a deep, vulnerable level. Stay patient with the process! I got really frustrated for a long time when I started therapy, but I realized it was like getting angry at a sapling for not being a tree yet. Keep giving yourself what you need to grow and you’ll be amazed where you can end up in the next six months 🌳!

You’re literally describing my experience with OCD. So you’re not alone. My advice is to keep going to therapy and resist compulsions. I’m not going to lie, some days are better than others, but we all have those. I’m still getting better at this, but I see a huge progress and it all has to do with avoiding compulsions. Lastly, I try my best to stay away from the feed on this app. I think it’s easy to seek for reassurance here. There’s no solution here. You can tolerate the discomfort, those thoughts only have meaning if you give it to them.