Sigh

It’s because no one truly understands.. there’s a stigma around people who have OCD that you’re just a clean freak it’s not taught that OCD is a debilitating condition because that’s what it is. It is very debilitating. It is very horrible but no one knows about that so no one understands. my boyfriend, doesn’t understand my family never did or never tried to so I gave up to the extent of the thoughts I had when I was a kid but even if they did, they would ignore me because what I did try to tell them they didn’t listen. They cared more about getting my brother help. which he was diagnosed with OCD because he had compulsive handwashing to the point where his hands would bleed. Which don’t get me wrong that’s horrible, but it’s more known than the other parts of OCD is. The ones that truly make you feel like you’re going crazy my brother didn’t think anything was wrong. He just over washed his hands every time he touched anything i on the other hand, thought I was going crazy, but also same with autism they focused more on getting him diagnosed with that stuff than they did with me cause growing up, I used to say like oh I have that symptom too, but really bad or oh I struggle with this and that, and I really didn’t need to say anything because it was so obvious as a kid that I had issues so obvious it just wasn’t the textbook ones which I also had I just mean the ones that I had that truly showed that I really had autism are ones that you don’t really just know about like I had so many ones that pointed to it that they didn’t realize well. They pointed it out, but they didn’t realize that was what it was it would’ve explained so much shit I did as a kid or acted like. I tried to say a lot of what I was feeling as a kid and I got ignored. I have autism and it would’ve been nice to be able to get diagnosed as a kid and try to work on getting help or not feeling like such a goddamn outcast my whole life. Families just don’t get it and if they do, they only get it to the extent of what they’ve heard about it. If it goes any deeper, they just think you’re crazy or silly or stupid. Or overreacting, but we’re not we’re definitely not overreacting. I’m sorry they talk to you like whether their intentions are good or bad. They should know that it doesn’t help. I can truly relate to you on that stuff though.