Can ocd feel real and like you want the thoughts?

This is absolutely what it does. Its old title was “doubting disorder.” Simply don’t engage that’s all. The less you do compulsions the better it will get trust me

Absolutely and your brain can literally create false Lies to you to convince you, or it can twist things that you have thought and make it seem like your thought process was way different than it really was. It is the most real feeling literally ever and that’s what makes it so scary and convincing at this point. I just have to keep telling myself. I don’t know what’s real. So I’m gonna assume it’s not. It’s really really sucky and no one around me has ever understood it. I should’ve really got help as a kid so that it didn’t come up really bad later but my mom prioritize my brother’s issues. Which he also had OCD, but his OCD was just compulsively washing his hands that’s it. And then he grew out of it for the most part. Which is still bad but it is one of them more known things with OCD. I grew up with all those crazy. Oh if you don’t do this, this will happen stuff and then some other crazy thoughts that my mind was convincing me of, but I wasn’t taken seriously nor did anyone listen to me so I stopped trying with my mom, and I never really told to the extent of what my brain thought so I never got help or never realized that its not me being crazy and I think that it would’ve really helped if I would’ve got help as a child. The other sucky part is that part of OCD is not known the part where stuff convinces you so bad in your mind, no one knows about that besides the people who have it or doctors but in terms of people around you on the daily, they don’t know they don’t understand they ocd is just oh I’m a clean freak. Everything bothers me if it’s not clean when OCD is way worse than that it is such a debilitating condition. My boyfriend, for example, doesn’t understand. He literally just doesn’t get it. No one does. It’s nice to see other people on here be able to share their experiences which makes me feel like I’m truly not alone because when I first started having really a bad OCD again I thought I was just fucking crazy and I was just telling myself how not normal everything I thought was and I was literally going on a downward spiral. I was panicking. I felt like I was going crazy. I felt like I needed to be in an institution like truly, but seeing that other people on here feel the same slightly makes me feel better.

I get it. My husband doesn’t understand either. I feel the same way, I think I just want to be normal like …and I put people I know in that space. I KNOW I’m not like other people. And u are right it is sucky. I’ve also felt like I’m going crazy before. That seems to be a common symptom because a lot of people on here have expressed that as well. I can’t get over past things and yeah my thoughts and feelings have been all jumbled up. I pray a lot about it. I dwell on things which is a no-no. The past 10 years has not been good, of course, there has been good mixed in with all that. The thing is I am retired and have too much time to myself. Making myself do things is just hard for me. I guess I would rather sit around and dwell on it and then I’ll feel guilty about it. It makes me not happy with myself at all. We just have to find a way to distract ourselves from all of this mess. I have a lot of regrets and guilt. So you are not alone.