Sexual False Memories

Does anyone deal with false memories relating to past relationships? Before my wife, I’ve never gone “too far” if you will. But my ocd convinces me that the things I have done with others were harmful even though I don’t have any evidence of this and most of my exes seem to still appreciate their time spent with me (some have even told me so after breaking up). This sparked from a normal guilt from realizing any type of intimacy before marriage is a sin, then this turned into “what if I get falsely accused of something”, and now it’s full on believing I did bad things with false memories too! It is such a struggle and makes it really hard to live with and be happy. Because if my fears are even remotely true I would forever hate myself! What are some good ERP techniques to handle this?

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Date posted: 21h

As someone who overcame a very convincing false memory about sexually harming someone, the thing that ultimately helped me overcome it was leaving it alone. It's terribly difficult, but it's what works. I now know that my false memory was completely made-up by my OCD. Whenever they pop up, remind yourself that they're false memories created by OCD and there's nothing that you need to try and solve.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

@‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ I am dealing with this right now. What is the best way to leave it alone per say? Would love your advice!

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

@‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ But how do I know they are false memories? For example, I went out on a date with a woman, we made out during a movie. The next day she wanted nothing to do with me and said she wasn’t looking for a long term relationship. My mind twists that into “you did something wrong and that’s why she doesn’t want you” even though I remember being anxious about the fact that the date went so well yet she didn’t want to continue it due to intense relationship ocd fears of people leaving me at the time (which praise God I no longer deal with)

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Date posted: 6h

@Anonymous Leaving it alone means leaving it alone. No compulsions allowed. Whenever these uncomfortable thoughts arise, you have to resist seeking reassurance and bring your attention to something else instead. A simple statement such as "This is OCD talking, I don't need to solve this right now" is a good way to respond to your intrusive thoughts.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ

Date posted: 6h

@Anonymous Firstly, you're labeling them as false memories. There's something within your subconscious that recognises that they aren't real memories. Hold onto that— tightly. Secondly, the woman clearly stated her reason for not wanting to continue dating you. She's not interested in a long-term relationship. Your OCD is completely ignoring what she communicated to you, and it's creating intrusive thoughts instead. These intrusive thoughts can sound like "What if I did something inappropriate and forgot about it?" or "What if she's hiding something?". That's just OCD talking. It's important that you label these thoughts as intrusive thoughts.

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