Rape by deception OCD

I saw an Instagram reel saying lying about your politics to hookup with someone is a form of rape The comments were very split. I think this is not legally or objectively rape at all. I remember in first year I was a bit more conservative, but wouldn't tell girls that, like I just wouldn't talk about politics on dates I'm no longer a conservative but I sometimes will exaggerate how much I care about social issues to get girls and my ocd says that this is rape. Or if someone has very different views than me, I pretend I don't really have an issue with their views. My ocd is saying this is rape.

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

I totally understand how social media can make you confused and on top of that, OCD makes you confused as well. There are many conflicting opinions on social medias across a variety of topics. But what’s important is what you think, instead of what strangers think. I think it’ll be helpful for you to reflect on your values and to try your best to decrease your social media use. Social media and OCD aren’t the healthiest mix because both bring doubt and erode your self-trust. Without social media, you’ll have more time to yourself to reflect on your own values and opinions, without other’s opinions getting in the way

Lucywilefire

Date posted: 17h

Yea for me it's mostly just social survival. Most queer women are very left leaning and im center left. My logic was that they don't need to know my politics for something causal. It's not relevant to them. But my ocd says that rape.

Kai on the Wall

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

I guess in the end it's not really about whether or not this is rape, but about sitting with the possibility that it is. Since OCD will tell you that you *need* to know, you have to challenge that urge to gain certainty

pureolife

Date posted: Yesterday

I think this is a gray area. It’s not black and white, yes or no. Rape or not. It’s about honesty. Why are you lying to get girls? Why not just be honest and choose girls who like you for you.

Lucywilefire

Date posted: Yesterday

I mean it's like a one time/very casual thing, I just kind of agree with whatever she says since its not very serious. Then I saw that reel and then the ocd thing happened

pureolife

Date posted: Yesterday

@Lucywilefire Still not sure why casual means dishonesty. Can you be both honest and causal?

Lucywilefire

Date posted: Yesterday

@pureolife Yeah that's definitely fair. My intention was always just "oh let me say this to impress her" but not to hurt anyone. Like I know Uta wrong but my ocd is saying that's rape

pureolife

Date posted: Yesterday

@Lucywilefire Yea like I said I think your brain wants a definitive label when this is more gray. It’s deceptive, yes. But I also think the nature of the lie matters. For example, when someone pretends to be an entirely different person. That could be rape because how could someone consent to that

Lucywilefire

Date posted: 17h

@pureolife Yeah it's mores so that the queer community leans very left. So I downplay any moderate views I have and dial up my left wing views. My logic was just that girls don't need to know my politics for a casual encounter. I mean I was going to try and write an ERP script for it

pureolife

Date posted: 14h

@Lucywilefire If you’re still performing compulsions about it then do a script. But I’d lean into uncertainty. “Maybe they really do need to know my politics even for a casual encounter. Or maybe not.”

pureolife

Date posted: 14h

@Lucywilefire Also maybe knowing your real politics would change how they felt about the encounter. Maybe that’s not “rape” but if it still creates anxiety, add it to the script.

Lucywilefire

Date posted: 13h

@pureolife Thank you for your help. I will make a script

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