pocd

i’m struggling. how do I go about my days with these thoughts like i’m not having them… I feel like I can’t do anything. I wake up in panic because I feel so guilty. being diagnosed isn’t making it easier for me to get better i’m still convinced im a bad person😭like what if my therapist is wrong. what if im convincing myself it’s just ocd when it’s not. What if my preference is kids and it didn’t show up until the day I had the first thought. I feel helpless. I feel like I don’t deserve my relationship, my friends and family I deserve to be alone. I’ve also been doing too much research about pocd and people say their experience is accidentally hurting a kid when mine is actual images of me doing it. I can’t look at a kid anymore without thinking it. especially cute ones? it triggers me so much what if it’s actually true😭others can say they know it’s ocd but I can’t anymore. how do I know if it actually scares me or i’m just scared of being labeled bad. wtf. I feel bad even labeling it ocd because what if it’s not.. how will I ever know. then I think of afterlife and not seeing anyone I love because i’m bad. I know I have ocd, but what if I don’t have pocd…this plays throughout my head all day and i can’t quiet it. I’m scared of medication because what if i’m masking the bad and it won’t take away the thoughts.. always what ifs what ifs and it all leads back to me being bad I can’t think good of myself. I am struggling so much I just wanna cry.. I do have a therapist, it probably doesn’t sound like it because I literally can’t stop spiraling.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 21h

Hello Keyara, I’m sorry you’re feeling so overwhelmed by these thoughts and doubts. OCD often targets what matters most to us, and the distress you feel is a sign of your values, not a reflection of who you are. It’s normal to question your diagnosis and worry about being a bad person, but these are classic OCD patterns. You deserve support and understanding, and reaching out for help is a courageous step. If you’re struggling and need more assistance, remember that help is available. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at NOCD to find out how we can support you. I hope this message reaches you well. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/how-can-i-get-diagnosed-with-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/can-ocd-make-you-afraid-of-being-canceled/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/my-journey-from-hopelessness-to-empowerment/ Take care, Ian M. Reeder

Moniggv

Date posted: 19h

Dude I felt like this for a while and by a while I mean like 2 years, when I found out about ocd it slowly died down my pocd and my ocd is now feeding on other fears. What I can tell you is that the fact that you’re worried about doing bad is a good thing no matter your intentions that’s how you know you have a concern for your actions even if they may or not be selfish. Your conscience is working and that is a good thing.

Keyara

Date posted: 19h

@Moniggv it’s not getting better after finding out it’s ocd, i’ve known I had it for years

Moniggv

Date posted: 19h

@Keyara Well it might just be your brain hanging on to this particular thing. Tbh I’m not the one to be giving out any advice I currently have no idea if God wants me to be a nun or if I want to be a nun or not and I know I have ocd but I still am drowning in a puddle of doubt and confusion.

Moniggv

Date posted: 19h

@Moniggv Can I ask if you’re watching a lot of overly sexual content? I found that it’s easier for intrusive sexual thoughts to come if you’re watching overly sexual shows or videos.

Keyara

Date posted: 19h

@Moniggv no i’m not, the thoughts and images just appear everytime im around children :(

Moniggv

Date posted: 19h

@Keyara Ok same thing happened with me. Do you get groinal responses? I think one of the things that happened with me was overly focusing on those bodily sensations while I was around children. Then I realized I get groinal responses in other circumstances where I’m anxious. Maybe that would be a good exposure? What exposures does your therapist have you on?

Keyara

Date posted: 18h

@Moniggv she wants me to start looking at things that make me uncomfortable like toys, or not avoiding in general. it’s just hard. and I remember when it first started I checked a lot to see if I had a response. it’s happening again after seeing that other people have it I think it like triggered the feeling

Moniggv

Date posted: 17h

@Keyara I’m just gonna say the same things your therapist probably already said tbh but definitely don’t avoid things that make you uncomfortable. It will only make it worse. A good exposure I did was watching baby commercials when they came on TV without looking away. You should try that and if that’s too much for you rn just try to live your life with the thoughts Ik it’s hard to do but exercise everyday and try to put ordered in your life as you slowly try to implement more exposures with your therapist. If you ever need anything feel free to message me and try not to come on here to try and get reassurance bc the anxiety will just come back again.

Keyara

Date posted: 16h

@Moniggv it feels so real I genuinely feel so bad for everyone around me.. is that common?

Moniggv

Date posted: 15h

@Keyara I felt like I was a horrible person and I was sinning yes. I felt like I was gonna go to hell. I felt guilty and broken and I still do. Just continue with your exposures and try to live your life as best as you can

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

I feel the same way sometimes 😢

Dee_86

Date posted: 5h

This is me, I’ve been housebound for 3 months and just cry and pray begging this isn’t me 😭

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