- Date posted
- Yesterday
Why am I not recovering despite doing everything?š
Iām a 17-year-old high school student. I used to be excellent in studies from a very young age, but when I was 13, OCD hit me hard and completely turned my life upside down. My first theme was religious OCD, and I struggled with it for around 2.5 years. Eventually, it started to fade, but then a new theme developedāsomething very strange and hard to even explain. Over time, I worked on reducing my compulsions. I used to have many, but now theyāre about 90% gone. However, the main problem is still the obsessions. I feel completely stuck. I canāt focus on anything because thoughts keep popping into my mind constantly. These thoughts donāt even have any real meaning. Earlier, I used to think this was something external (like Satan), but now I understand itās OCD. Still, it feels like my brain is working against me. For example, if I decide to memorize a page, my mind immediately resists, like itās saying, āNo, I wonāt let you do this.ā Whenever I try to study or recall something, my brain keeps throwing random thoughts at me over and over again, making it impossible to concentrate. I donāt argue with the thoughts anymore. I donāt try to fight or prove them wrong. I just say āfineā and continue with what Iām doing. I follow the proper approach, but the thoughts still donāt stop. Because of this, Iām unable to focus properly. I forget things easily, I canāt fully enjoy anything, and I never feel completely engaged. My mind is always noisy in the background. Iāve been doing everything Iām supposed to. Iām seeing a good doctor who has tried many treatments, but nothing has worked so far. Itās extremely exhausting. My studies have suffered a lot. During exams, these thoughts come in and interfere, making me forget what Iāve learned. Everything I study feels mixed up in my head. I honestly donāt know what to do anymore. OCD has seriously damaged my academic performance.