Staring OCD

@pureolife Yes and no if that makes any sense most people I deal with kind of understand it’s not like that but some people have said things behind my back most people I’m pretty open and honest about it so I guess at first it is always kind of weird but after that point they don’t say anything Like either I’ve had that talk or I’ve explained or someone else has explained on my behalf

@Anon253 What causes you to stare? Have you worked on reducing your staring? I’m wondering if staring is the intrusion or the compulsion.

@pureolife I think it’s both it’s started as an accident a few years ago I wasn’t paying attention when I was talking and then all of sudden that fear set in and the what ifs and then it just kept getting worse I didn’t know I had ocd at the time.

@Anon253 I meant more like what is your brain telling you to do/not do when you’re staring? What’s the internal monologue? If you try to turn away what happens?

@pureolife Most of the time it’s on accident. But when it happens I shy away from the person I keep my distance from people. It’s like I guess double checking but I don’t do that anymore it’s weird and uncomfortable and I don’t like making people uncomfortable. But sometimes it just happens mid conversation and I guess the compulsion is to check and the impulse is to run away. Knowing they are indeed different. Is that what you meant?

@Anon253 Yeah I was just wondering how ocd was keeping you trapped in this staring game. And wondering if you actually are staring or if it’s just your ocd saying “were you just staring? They probably feel uncomfortable. What if they think you’re weird now” and have to check and mentally review to see if you were and ask for reassurance from them that they’re not upset etc.

@pureolife That’s actually exactly what it’s like a lot of times I would stare but now it’s pretty much only when I’m flaring up and it’s a horrible cycle it’s downright terrifying.

@Anon253 Gotcha. Well here’s the thing: you have to accept that you may or may not have been staring. And they may or may not be uncomfortable. And you need to resist those compulsions like checking and mentally reviewing and asking for reassurance that they feel ok. You just have to sit with that little bit of uncertainty instead of trying to figure it out or make sure people understand it. Just let the discomfort be and leave when it’s ready. You can’t stop the intrusive thoughts, but you can control how to react to them.