Does anyone have any tips for just letting a though exist or thinking you are something exist by just letting it be there cause when I do just let it be there it feels like I’m actively trying to pretend it’s not there like how am I supposed to just let it exist when it feels like I’m trying to ignore it even though that isn’t the goal
I havr harm ocd..when I have a scary thought I say, yeahh that might happen, anything could happen, I'll take the risk anyways and just keep doing what I was doing...or sometimes I'll even say wow yeah thats a cool thought!! I'll probably do that! ...the radical change confuses your brain and actually helps rewire your fear response..it takes work.. but try it...it has actually helped me sooooo much
I have harm ocd too and am really struggling with my intrusive thoughts today. Especially because I don't trust myself and genuinely feel unsure what's real and what's just in my head. Any advice or kind words would be appreciated
It’s ok to ignore it. You’re just not supposed to engage with it. Try saying “hey there thought, I see you but I’m not engaging. Have fun hanging around as long as you need to but I’m going to be focusing on this over here.”
@pureolife Should we be telling our thoughts that it’s ok to hang around? I’m confused on that too.
@Cher54 Yup! I like to think of my intrusive thoughts and anxiety as dinner guests. My mind is a gigantic table and there’s room for everyone there. That doesn’t mean they get to talk over anyone else. And I try to give my attention to mostly the good guests like the ones enjoying their meal or appreciating the sunset.
@pureolife That is a good analogy!  So if you think, U you are just a bad thought and I choose to ignore you or you have no power over me or I cast those thoughts down to hell then those are all acceptable I assume. I’ve used that last one a lot. Lol Actually, we can all think of our own unique analogies. I’ve even put some on here before. I just didn’t understand the whole “just sit with it”thing. I don’t want to sit with a bad thought. I think you could also see it as a black cloud and all the thoughts on that cloud that are not good and just watching it drift on by. I know some people that have the harm OCD, which I used to have, they will tell themselves yeah I just might do that, big deal or something of that nature, but see that wouldn’t work for me. That would just increase my doubts, but I think whatever works for that individual then that’s what you should do. I do understand the concept of that however. We all look at things differently. I guess some therapy that works for someone may not work on someone else. I sat outside in my swing on my deck today in the sunshine and put on music and started singing. Now that’s good therapy for me.
@Cher54 I think “you have no power over me” or casting them to hell is actually engaging. You’re neutralizing them or avoiding them, which are compulsions. Don’t assign them any meaning (they aren’t powerful or powerless. They just are.) The table is a way of saying you can sit here. Im just not going to do anything with you. I’m going to talk to my nice guests. May mean guests and sit around and leave whenever they’re ready.
@Cher54 You mentioned how when others use a maybe/maybe not attitude that wouldn’t work for you because that increases your doubts. That’s exactly the point! Anything you do to reduce doubt is a compulsion. And while it make seem like it “works” for you in the short term because it temporarily reduces doubt, it’s actually fueling your ocd and hurting you long term. Allowing your doubts to simply exist without trying to fix or alleviate them is the point.
Exactly! I have wondered the same thing. If you have a bad thought, say you have harm OCD, then how are you supposed to sit with it? That doesn’t make sense to me either. Maybe we will get some advice on this.
@Cher54 If I have the thought “I’m going to jump up and down 10 times.” I don’t need to do anything in order to not jump. I just don’t. If you have a harm thought “what if I do X” you don’t have to do anything to prevent or disprove or neutralize or analyze it. Just let it be a thought.
@pureolife Hmm..interesting. I suppose it is easier to think that it’s just a thought, let it go. I guess that’s what people do that don’t have OCD when they have a thought. They just don’t do anything with it. Makes sense. I wished I had known what to do years and years ago when I had my first born and I had harm OCD so bad. I really needed someone to talk to. But it’s like I didn’t want to tell anybody these thoughts and feelings. It really tears me up now the things I thought and the things I did because of the ocd. I am a spiritually minded person so I have really had to pray about it a lot. Thank u for your input.
Hi! This is the NOCD Community AI assistant. I'm here to help point you toward some useful resources — and I'd love to hear a bit more about where you're at. I'm currently in Beta and am being trained not to give reassurance. What you're describing is one of the most confusing parts of response prevention — the line between sitting with a thought and accidentally doing a mental compulsion by 'trying not to engage.' It's really common to wonder if you're doing it right. Here are some resources that you may find helpful: • What is a Compulsion in OCD? — Breaks down mental compulsions vs. physical ones, which can help clarify what 'engagement' actually means https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-a-compulsion-ocd-erp • Mental Compulsions: The Unseen Battle — Goes deeper into how mental rituals work and why they're harder to spot https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/mental-compulsions-the-unseen-battle • Here's Why Response Prevention Is the Key to OCD Recovery — Explains the 'response prevention' piece and what it looks like in practice https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/heres-why-response-prevention-is-the-key-to-ocd-recovery Is this something you're working through with a therapist, or are you figuring it out on your own right now?
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