I feel defeated, hoping for a better day tomorrow

Hey guys. I’m feeling Alone, Sad and Scared. I only have my self to blame. My curiosity got the best of me. Saw an actor passed. and googled what they passed from. a rare disease with no cure and no prevention. terminal. no one survives it. fell down the rabbit whole of research on symptoms. and now i think I'm experiencing phantom symptoms. even tho to get it at my age (22) is extremely extremely rare. via my research. but if its possible its probable as my OCD likes to say.. bad i know.. anywho just knowing a disease like that exists has sent me spiralling. but again its my fault for googling it. curiosity killed the cat as they say. So I’m in an OCD spiral again. Don’t know how long I’ll be in this for, but I can’t relax. I’m on edge. And constantly focusing on my hand which is where these “symptoms” started being more prominent after I read about it. Kinda like when I convinced myself I had stomach cancer and got terrible acid reflux as my “proof” 🤦‍♀️ Though I don’t want to discredit it either. Because what if this time? Ya know. I want to do something to take my mind of it. But nothing is interesting me right about now. So that sucks. My partner is playing video games. I wanted him to do something with me, but couldn’t think of anything so I just let him go do that. I feel kind of alone right now. Just me and my dog. But my dog is sleeping. So I guess just me. My stomach hurts with fear. And my mind will not silence. How do you guys get out of an OCD spiral? I want out. And I want my peace back :(

Thornhill

Date posted: 21h

I treat it like a book. Once I know I am holding it and it's big and scary and I have zero control, I say 'im putting you down, I don't need to handle you right now'. Also something I heard once was 'wow, I must really care about my own wellbeing if OCD is going after it. Silly ocd' and push it back to OCD.

Just For Me

Date posted: 15h

Maybe, maybe not… I’m early on in my treatment, and my therapist and I went through some sayings to help stabilize ocd. It pisses me off. Like, don’t you know this is serious?! But… maybe, maybe not.

BlatantWorry

Date posted: 12h

One way that could help is to try and re-orientate your thought approach to this. Yes, it is genuinely terrifying to not know if a rare disease will take you tomorrow especially when it is possible. But by virtue of this you are not obligated to burden yourself with staying watch for something that has the odds of a jackpot lottery ticket of happening to you. A lot of the time this kind of theme feels very, very real, we have to remind ourselves to accept the uncertainity by believing that in the now it isn't necessary to bother and we will cross the bridge when we get there. A wise doctor once told me that you can only prove a positive for a medical test, never a negative. What this means is that if a test came back positive, there was something, and if negative, nothing tripped the test both false positive and real. Often OCD has us perpetually obsessed with trying to prove that negative, so treat it as you would medical personnel would, e.g do not concern yourself with what hasn't shown itself. Also, watch out with the symptoms part. This part can keep you obsessed and locked in the cycle of doubting that it may be "showing itself." OCD plays serious tricks on your mind, so accepting the possibility that your hand is just being a hand reacting to your hyper attention on it is crucial. You'll be okay.

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