Anyone else feel annoyed by religion due to ocd?

Kinda vent. It feels so wrong but like im a christian/catholic and i have been fighting with scrupulosity for a while even tho its gotten better but like ive researched so so much i still do reasearxh on religious stuff and ive found out about so so many rules and studf i didnt know before, like mass every week is obligatory, friday penances, and some stuff as sins, but like its made me kinda lose my hope and faith because it feels like im doing everything just so i dont go to hell and not for love, like i feel like mass and fasting shouldnt be obligatary cus then people do it so they dont sin or in fear not for love, but also its so hard to pray for me bc ocd makes a billion rules over it, and im just tired of praying and being religious and feeling that i cant enjoy my life cus id sin and stuff, and also the concept of heaven/hell scares me i wish there was a world where i could just live and be a good person withiut any religious expectations…. Sometimes i wish that my family hadnt taken me back to the church cus then i was happier, i dont get it cus faith used to make me happy and hopeful but its weird cus now it makes me feel mad anxious and like lifes useless, idk if its just my mind the ocd or just that religion (catholic?) is that way but like it feels like life is useless cus i could try to be perfect but one day missed mass and didnt confess and its all over, or like why really try to live a good life if ill go to purgatory anyways? Its like i have to be perfect or else im doomed. But like its weird cus religious ocd is usually like someone wants to be a good Christian and stuff but like idk im so tired that i just want to live like for myself like to feel happy cus im alive cause im a person not because im going to heaven and being scared of sinning all the time… plus it feels like i just matters if im a good religious person because i told my dad about ocd prayer urges and he told me to ask God what he needs and see it as smt good as a message, and i had low blood sugar in mass befote my first communion and my tescher let me eat just a little, it just feels like i dont matter and only god and religious stuff does and if im not a good christian then im not a good person I feel like im losing hope in life and no matter how much i try l never win and why try if ill just go to afterlife anyways? I dont like the idea of eternity loll… but im also scared of not being religious because ill feel like i wouldnt be safe anymore like ill go to hell or just not be safe in the world from stuff cus im not praying for protection, i dont thjnk i could really ever stop being Christian tho, i wish i were a protestant tho cus im catholic and so many rules make me feele like im doing it from fear instead of love for god and i think if i were protestant i could focus on loving god bc i want to and not because of fear, but im also scared id go to hell if i were Im so sorry for the long vent lol i know its so messy but i really need someone to understand, everyone in my family’s religious so they all see religion as good even tho its making me want to die

Michael N

Date posted: 10h

I’ve heard it said that religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell, and that spirituality is for those of us who have been there! No need to believe who others think god might be. It’s more important to know that god believes in you — rather than what you believe in god! Hope this helps.

CrappiePappy

Date posted: 9h

It’s easy to get lost in the weeds when trying to adhere to religion. I agree with Michael N; God knows what’s in your heart. Give yourself a little grace with this.

DrewHolland74

Date posted: 8h

Wow. It's as if God himself finally gave me the opportunity to share a I guess what you can call a "sermon" that's been burning deep within me. You're doing great Cooki!!! That's what you're not comprehending. There's no religious ritual that's going to "earn" your way into heaven! Regardless of your denomination! We all fall short of the glory of God. Each and every single one of us are imperfect and have flaws. We weren't created to be perfect. An there's not one single religion with it's ritualistic bull crap that is going to put you more in favor with the Most High!!! It's your faith that is the key! Your faith is the answer to everything which you clearly already possess! I could literally write about this topic for hours but I'm going to drop just enough biblical facts to leave you feeling blessed and in comfort. It's the enemy that makes you want to believe that you're not enough or you've done this or that wrong so your prayers will go unanswered and so forth. But remember the scriptures, the biblical truths! Stop listening to the man-made lies, you're putting so much effort into satisfying "man" created religion with its rituals and nonsense and not realizing that you're already on the road to the kingdom of heaven. There's no amount of fasting, helping the poor, prayer, confession or anything else that you can do that will get you into the kingdom of Heaven! Faith is the only way! Of course faith without works is dead but it's your faith that the Jesus of Nazareth was the Messiah. Belief that his sacrifice atoned for the sin and evil deeds of mankind. That's all God wants and always has wanted. But mankind has altered, diluted, and changed so much when the message was simple. Love him with all your heart and love thy neighbor. But FAITH is the answer. Just about every miracle recorded in the scriptures that the messiah Jesus Christ performed, he always made it perfectly clear that "their" FAITH has made them well or has healed them. An in one particular circumstance he added the statement to go and sin no more. Him dying on that cross, in the same exact location centuries and centuries of years prior to where Abraham was "tested" and asked to sacrifice his one and only begotten son Issac that he waited years to have with Sarah before he took things in his own hands which led to Hagar and Ishmael which is a entire different story that's off topic with where I'm going with this. But out of FAITH Abraham was going to do as God requested and sacrifice his son but instead God provided a ram in his place. Do you see the correlation here. That's why Abraham is called the father of faith. An once God saw that Abraham would obey out of FAITH IN GOD to provide his promise that out of Abraham's seed he would bring forth a nation of people. Fast forward and God provided another sacrificial lamb/ram for mankind and it was his ONLY begotten son Jesus Christ. It's the faith that satisfied God. I can go on forever but I have ADHD pretty bad too so I'll be all over the place about how all the ceremonies, fasting, rituals mean absolutely nothing. Its your love for your neighbor and your faith that pleases God! Jesus once used the parable of how faith the size of a mustard seed will move mountains, he's saying a unit of measure that tiny can move a mountain think about what true faith without doubt can achieve in our lives. Remember when Jesus taught about the pharisees and sadducess of how they worried about washing the outside of the cup instead of the inside of the vessel. That parable is similar to your post, you're worried about the wrong things my friend. An it sounds to me that you're already in the graces of God. Because if you're putting this much effort in stressing and worrying about ridiculous man made rituals in order to please God, I would say you already have what he's seeking Cooki and thats faith. So since you have the key, now work on love. Because as it states in 1 John chapter 4 tells us God is love and love is God. Don't you dare lose hope. You're already a child of the most high with so much faith you believe foolish rituals will please him when you already have what he's seeking. Especially in today's age. Faith.

Cooki

Date posted: 5h

@DrewHolland74 Aww thank you so much this really helped!! I think your right, maybe i could focus on having more faith in Jesus instead of worrying about the rituals so much, im still worried that the Catholic Church actually is right and that they have the authority to create rules like that, but i guess ill never be able to truly know, maybe i just have to have faith that Jesus will still save me and thats it? But thank you so much this really made me feel better <3

Verita

Date posted: 9h

Also look up Mark de Jesus on YouTube - previous pastor - with ocd - Gods Grace and trusting Gods sovereignty with ERP… Those resources are helpful …

Cooki

Date posted: 6h

@Verita I know it isnt true, but i feel like my family coming back to the catholic church kinda caused my ocd, atleast my symptoms pretty much started there and i keep turning prayer into a compulsion so im not sure :( but im sure it could help some people!

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