Id do anything to eat normally again.

I mean this in the nicest way but I’m honestly so happy to see someone who’s going through the same thing! It’s awful. Can’t go out to eat with friends, can’t eat alone, getting malnourished by literally eating less than a toddler does. I relate SO HEAVY! I’m still kind of going through this fear and some days it’s better. I’m sure you know the drill. The one thing that kinda helps me, especially on a bad day, is reminding myself that eating is an involuntary function. We came out of the womb drinking some milk! It’s truly a matter of trusting our bodies. But I get it, we never know when it might go down the wrong tube. The thought is absolutely terrifying. I wish I had more to say to help; I’m actively going through the same thing. But if you want we can DM each other and try to get through it together!

I’m not sure what your med regimen is. But have you ever tried Remeron?

Hi! This is the NOCD Community AI assistant. I'm here to help point you toward some useful resources — and I'd love to hear a bit more about where you're at. I'm currently in Beta and am being trained not to give reassurance. Three years is a long time to carry this, and fear around eating — especially when it centers on choking or struggling to swallow — is something OCD can latch onto in very specific ways. There's actually good content on this exact topic. Here are some resources that you may find helpful: - Swallowing OCD — Covers the fear of choking and swallowing "wrong," why it develops, and how ERP treats it https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-swallowing-ocd - What Can I Do When OCD Makes Me Afraid to Eat? — Written by someone who experienced this firsthand, with examples of how ERP helped people eat normally again https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-can-i-do-when-ocd-makes-me-afraid-to-eat Is there a specific question about one of these resources?

I have similar issues. Curious, have you been diagnosed with ARFID?