This is why I’m afraid to open up

So I was speaking to a priest today, and I explained why I’m feeling this way. I explained to him what I’m struggles are and I think that God is telling me these things through thoughts and images when I pray. I got a thought of him saying something to me before I was speaking to him today, and it caused anxiety. He said he knew what scrupulosity is, but it didn’t help. I told him my 3 desires, which are to marry an Italian American, have a career with animals, and have my parents reconcile their marriage. He said that the reason I’m feeling this way is because that I’m fighting Gods will and that I need to pray for Gods will to be done and it caused more anxiety and depression. He said you surrender your free will to Gods will and it caused so much terror in my mind. I obviously didn’t tell him this. He said either you surrender your free will and follow Jesus Christ or you go your own way. I’m not trying to go my own way, I just desire 3 things to happen for my life and that I ask the Lord only for 3 things. It’s so terrifying now because now I fear that the Lord indeed was telling me all these things. I asked him if there is a lack of peace, that means it wasn’t him. He said not necessarily, because he thinks I’m fighting Gods will. However, I spoke to another priest and he said that God isn’t against my dreams at all and that he is with me every step of the way. I don’t know what to do…

Abbeyma513

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13h

Take your time. Feel your feelings. Pray in whatever way feels authentic to you. And know that you are not alone and you are loved by God, by this community, and I’m sure by many others.

anthonycaronna

Date posted: 10h

@Abbeyma513 Thank you❤️ that means so much. I’ve really been struggling for the past few days and it hasn’t been pretty

AllisonRojas

Date posted: 13h

I can really relate to this. It’s tough because every priest brings their own strengths and flaws, and at the end of the day they’re broken humans too. Sometimes even with the best intentions a priest can say the wrong thing or the right thing in a wrong way and it can cause a lot of hurt and confusion. I myself have been wrestling with this a lot recently. I was received into the church Easter of 2025 and at that time I was told my marriage was valid in the eyes of the church. Then I moved to a new city and another priest told me absolutely not, I’m cohabitating and living in mortal sin. Needless to say this caused a lot of anxiety and uncertainty for me. It’s been months and I still haven’t been able to get a clear answer. I’m just trying to trust in Gods will and do my best and trust that it will all work out but it’s really scary. All of this to say you’re not alone. I hope you’re able to find some peace and clarity soon. 🙏

anthonycaronna

Date posted: 10h

@AllisonRojas I’m so happy for you! It’s just that it’s frustrating because it seems as though if God is talking to me and it really freaks me out. I got a thought one time in prayer saying “I will not give you what you want, but what you need” while I was praying about my desires and I shitted my pants, not literally. It caused so much anxiety, even to this day. I had an encounter with the Lord a while back and he confirmed my desires, but now, it seems that I misunderstood that and it’s shaking me to the ground

AllisonRojas

Date posted: 10h

@anthonycaronna I heard someone say one time that if you want to know if the voice you’re hearing is God, you need to know what God’s voice sounds like. I didn’t understand it at the time but I think I’m slowly starting to. As I get more and more into reading scripture I’m starting to get a grasp of God’s character. And since we know God never changes, if a voice or a message contradicts what I know to be true about God then I can rest knowing it’s not of Him. I’m still only able to discern that maybe 5% of the time, but a year ago it was 0%! Have patience, my friend. I don’t know how, but He will work it all out for our good. I wish you the very best. God bless you 🙏

juniper.rose

Date posted: 4h

I empathize with this, as I had a disappointing experience with Confession this week, where I did not feel like the priest was even beginning to understand the root of my frustrations. Reminding myself that he is also just a human, searching imperfectly for the right words, has helped me. Some priests understand right away; others, most definitely do not. But I take heart that God understands our innermost thoughts, even when we can't fully articulate them ourselves sometimes. And He loves us just the same.

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