What it really takes to get better (it probably isn’t what you think)

I know what it’s like to have every part of you want to run away from the feeling you’re having. I’ve had a lot of those moments, moments where my mind was racing, my chest felt tight, and OCD was screaming, “You can’t handle this discomfort.” For years, I rearranged my whole life to avoid discomfort, even if that meant distancing myself from people I loved, spending money I didn’t have, and sacrificing experiences that I really wanted for myself. What I didn’t understand back then was that avoidance keeps OCD in charge. Every time we avoid discomfort, we unintentionally confirm the story OCD is telling us, that we can’t handle difficult feelings. But we can. Discomfort is survivable. Every one of us is capable of tolerating it, even when it doesn’t feel that way. It won’t happen instantly, and it will probably take some trial and error, but you can do it. That’s where willingness comes in. Willingness to feel unsure without immediately trying to resolve it. Willingness to let an unanswered question exist. Willingness to act while anxiety is still present. Being willing to loosen your grip is how you learn that you can handle the things that OCD says you can’t. It’s how you take your life back from the intrusive thoughts that have been trying to run it. If you’re struggling with this right now, I hope you’ll give yourself permission to keep going. You’re not expected to do this perfectly. You’re allowed to take it one moment at a time. As long as you stay willing and keep trying, you can get to where you want to be. And you don’t have to do this on your own. Our team at NOCD is here for you, and all of our therapists are trained to help you face these moments in a way that feels manageable. Our Therapy Members also receive ongoing support between sessions, including dozens of live support groups, some of which I’m honored to run. Among them are our groups about dealing with mental compulsions, managing OCD in relationships, health obsessions, and being a mom with OCD. If you have any questions for me about treatment and between session support, feel free to drop them below!