How do you make time for exposures?

Hello friends! I am having a rough day today anticipating my therapy session because we have had about a week since my last on and I have not done any exposures in that time. I’m feeling very disappointed in myself and afraid of my therapist being disappointed too. There was nothing all that different about this week and making time for exposures has always been hard for me. Contrary to the OCD stereotype, I have very little self-imposed routine, either healthy or unhealthy. My days are structured almost entirely by external factors like work and seeing my fiance daily. Even my bedtime and wake up times are inconsistent and messy at best. I don’t know if that is caused by OCD or if I have other things affecting me, but not doing the things I intend to do (like exposures or other things that take effort and focus) makes me feel really down about myself. I want to know if anyone else has this issue and how you overcome it. I struggle a lot with doing tasks without stimulation (Youtube/TV) or external pressure, even simple things like getting ready for bed. I would love any advice you all can give on this!

Hobbit

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18h

Hi ElenaMarceline! Yes, I’ve struggled to put exposures into my day sometimes as well. You’re not alone ❤️ I’ve found it helpful to attach exposures (or anything I need to make a habit of) to an existing routine or task. For example, if I regularly eat lunch, then right before or after, doing exposures. Or if I regularly take a walk or drive to work or meet someone for coffee, doing exposures right before or after. Ive done exposures during commutes as well (ex: listening to a loop tape). Right now, I do stuff right when I wake up and right before I fall asleep — those are the most predictable times for me — but for you it might be something totally different. I’ve also found that any time my OCD / anxiety / fears show up throughout the day, it’s an opportunity for an exposure. (For example, you could do ERP/NERs around whether your therapist will be disappointed or not). Lastly, try to be gentle and kind and patient with yourself. Making new habits is hard and ERP is even harder — sometimes it takes a bit to find your footing and even then, there is a learning curve. Be patient and celebrate even the little steps. I’ve often found that beating myself up when I don’t perform the way I want actually makes my ocd and anxiety worse and makes it harder for me to show up the way I want. If you want more tips and tricks around this, I recommend the “self-compassion workbook for ocd” by Kimberly Quinlan and her podcast “Your Anxiety Toolkit” Also, it is great that you’re taking a moment to reflect on the last week and LEARN from it! That’s huge and key for learning and growing! Cheering you on 🙂❤️

ElenaMarceline

Date posted: 10h

@Hobbit Thank you so much! I really appreciate your advice!

Hobbit

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 10h

@ElenaMarceline Of course! Glad something in there was useful! ☺️

Anon849

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18h

You sound a lot like me! My NOCD therapist is also my general-depression therapist. Except she doesn't do talk therapy, she works with me on behavioral activation. If I wake up after 12pm, or should I say 11:30am, I will let it ruin the next 5 hours of out 8 hours of sunlight available because I'm so mad at myself for "wasting the day away". So then what? 1. Be aware that you're wasting your day even more by being upset that you slept the day away. 2. Go outside even while you mentally and emotionally are not ready to go outside anyway. 3. Feel better naturally because you went outside and your body produced serotonin and dopamine from being outside. Put some effort into stopping your negative feedback loops. Make it a conscious goal to sleep by a certain time that makes sense for you. Set your alarm for a time that you wish to wake up at and wake up. And not all of this has to be on you. My boyfriend also sleeps late and I find it hard to sleep if the rest of my household is not engaging in the same behavior. Have a talk with your fiance and just ask for some help this week on going to sleep at the bed time you want because it really affects your mood the next day when you are waking up later than you want.

ElenaMarceline

Date posted: 10h

@Anon849 Thank you so much! How has behavioral activation worked for you? I have looked into it on my own, but have not explored it in therapy.

Anon849

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 9h

@ElenaMarceline It's worked wonders! It shows up in my clinical assessments. Last month my depression scale was at a 0 and my quality of life increased to the max range. Right now I'm suffering from a weird seasonal depression that has been affecting me around this time of the year for the past four years. I seriously don't feel like engaging with my life right now -- all I want to do right now is withdraw to my bed and stay inside. But because I've been working on behavioral activation, I know that I've got to make small steps that I can handle right now to activate a better mood. I'm going to get dressed and go outside and lay down at the park for a little. If I'm feeling up for it I might walk a little more and get a matcha latte. That'll be enough for me to feel accomplished today.

ElenaMarceline

Date posted: 6h

@Anon849 That’s amazing! I think that sort of mindset would be really helpful for me, I’m going to talk with my therapist about it!

Skyler too

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

I can relate and am recently late diagnosed with autism and ADHD. I’m not an expert but might be executive dysfunction from one of these? Or motivation from depression? Advice below https://api.treatmyocd.com/link/post/2523462

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