Can anyone talk with me

How is your OCD no

@krish123 Now

@krish123 Much better:) I have episodes here and there but Ive learned how to respond to the thoughts and can manage much more efficiently. When I first started, I couldnt maintain feelings for women, my mind was flooded with wickedly dark images and urges for taboo things (pdf stuff), and at my darkest moment I was ready to end my life out of the pure hopelessness I was feeling constantly. Ive had multiple different themes from pdf, harm, suicidal, religious, somatic, relationship, to most recently, past events ocd… and when they all first started to set in I felt completely hopeless and full of dread. For me its very black and white. Either I feel manageable or I want to quit haha. Learning to sit in the uncertainty is key and especially for me. Ive had days where I couldnt get out of bed, weeks where I wouldnt eat food, times where I had to call out of work mid shift because of how debilitating it can be when left untreated. Its gotten so bad that I had to call the suicide hotline just to find some sort of relief. I almost checked myself into a psych ward and coming from me (middle class, educated, male, with tons of traditional values, and a lot of care with my reputation) it was one of the last things I would ever consider doing and yet I had to because of how bad it was left untreated. I say all this just to give you some sort of hope that isn’t compulsive. Ive been in and still from time to time are in places where I feel completely cooked… but the disorder, although crippling, is manageable and you can get better. Tomorrow I go in for a new job, Ive been in a relationship with a girl for almost 2 months, I can fall asleep at night absent of demons, I cant thank my therapist and NOCD enough for essentially saving my life. If you can, talk to your primary and see if you can get through to a psychiatrist for medication and then a referral from your primary, for OCD treatment with NOCD. It makes treatment completely free

@Just-peachy🍑 You are amazing.

@DTF Another thing that helped me is remembering that OCD is ego dystonic. It attacks our most deeply held values, which is why everyone’s themes are different AND why it’s so distressing to us. Remember that when you feel distress from your intrusive thoughts, it’s because you CARE. It will get better, just keep working!

@Just-peachy🍑 Ugh. That is incredibly helpful. I’ve read about this so much. I just have a hard time believing it in my head sometimes, which perpetuates the distress. It’s literally the worst.