I feel like my mom guilt might be rooted in ocd. I feel bad doing ANYTHING for myself. Going out with a friend, going a run, going to the store by myself… I feel like I’m the worst mom ever and that I’m not giving my kids the attention they deserve. Anyone relate? Trying not to get reassurance because I know that won’t help me long-term, but it’s one of the worst feelings.
I think every parent feels this to some extent. Remember- if you’re not happy- no one is happy. My kids are grown- 29,27, and 23 and I still beat myself over things. A few months ago I asked my kids “ Is there anything I did when you were young that hurt you? That you remember?” It took my kids WAY longer than I thought it would for them to think of something. Only 1 out of 3 could come up with something, and it was little- and that thing was something I had no memory of! I mentioned the things that I sometimes ruminate over that I still regret- THEY ALL HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT! Clearly my memories that still haunt me, had no impact!! In this case you’ll have to do what I say, not as I do. Give yourself some grace. And remember, we all do the best we can at that moment. Trust me… The ones doing the most damage never stop to think if they’re doing something wrong. And remember- martyrs are generally not happy people. I can vouch for that. There’s nothing wrong with your children learning that their parent is an actual human being who also has interests outside of them. They will appreciate it more having a happy mom, than an unhappy one. ❤️❤️
@Karen but not a Karen This is everything. Thank you so much.
As a dad, yes, I struggle with this. You ain’t alone.
Yes that happens to me
I feel like you perfectly described my anxiety around parenting. It’s so hard. It’s a vicious cycle for me. I sacrifice my own needs beyond reason because otherwise I feel like a terrible mom, but then I feel angry and resentful that my needs always go unmet, and then I feel like a terrible mom for feeling angry and resentful! As with all things OCD, you can’t win no matter what you do 🤦🏼♀️ Sending you a big mom hug 🩷
@AllisonRojas YESSS. I cannot win! You hit the nail on the head. Hugs and prayers to you, friend.
All the time mama, I don't think its ocd its just mom guilt, i have 6 kids and I always feel like im not giving a few of them the attention they need, then I remember, they are so loved and never go without and im only 1 person. Only the good parents worry about if they are doing it right.
@WorriedMamasita Thank you for saying that. I think I just obsess over the thoughts that I’m not a good mom and that I’m failing my kids, then I just feel horrible internally and can’t even enjoy anything.
@DTF I can already tell your an amazing mother and im sure your kids think so too! Be easy on yourself, parenting is not easy, there's no way to be a perfect mama but there's a million ways to be a great one xo💛
@WorriedMamasita Thank you, friend. That means a lot.
I'm a mom! Those things as important! You need to do them
Here's an article that might help: https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-rest
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