Here is something I worked on

Disruption in routine: OCD’s rules that it wants me to follow: (who the fuck are you ocd. I’m driving this ship) OCD says disruption in routine is dangerous because I will kill myself. Maybe a disruption in my routine is dangerous and I could kill myself. I am willing to relinquish control and live in the uncertainty that this could happen. OCD says The only reason I’m not killing myself is because I’m doing something I like to do. Maybe the only reason I’m not killing myself is because I’m doing something I find enjoyable. OCD presents things as cold hard truth, but I am putting in the work in evidence based treatment. Maybe it’s working maybe it isn’t OCD says I cannot handle difficult situations. Maybe I can’t handle difficult situations. Maybe I can. We will see once one arises. OCD says I think about suicide as a way out of difficult situations to protect myself, so I should allow myself to think about it. OCD presents things as truth and as safety guarantees. It is saying it wants me to think more about suicide to protect myself from doing it. I am choosing to not think about suicide, and allow the possibility of it happening. OCD says if I don’t allow myself to think about suicide Its because im scared which makes it dangerous. Maybe not thinking about suicide is dangerous and I’m scared which makes it more likely to happen. Maybe not. I’m choosing to not think about suicide right now, maybe that will change. OCD says i should think about suicide because it’s erp exposure therapy. OCD tries to make rules that I have to follow to keep me safe. I am choosing to do things differently and maybe thinking about suicide is erp therapy, maybe it isn’t. I’m choosing to not think about suicide. Maybe that’s right maybe it’s wrong. OCD says if I am not anxious for some time I will lose the skills and it’s dangerous. OCD wants to keep me stuck because it’s posing it as protecting me from killing myself. Maybe I am going to lose my skills if I’m not anxious more often, maybe not. I’m allowing myself to feel what I feel, and to create a different relationship with anxiety. OCD says feeling anxious and then not feeling it again is dangerous because it will come back stronger and I will not be able to handle it. Maybe anxiety will come back stronger and I won’t be able to handle it. Maybe I will be able to handle it. Maybe anxiety is dangerous, maybe it isn’t. I’m choosing to create a different relationship with anxiety. OCD says the more I feel anxious the safer I am because it’s a good reminder on how to handle difficulties. OCD wants me to feel stuck and its old pattern was consistent anxiety. I am choosing to create a different relationship with anxiety. Maybe not feeling anxious for some time is dangerous, maybe it’s not. We will cross that bridge if we get there. OCD says if I get anxious after a period of non anxiety I’m more suicide prone. Maybe an anxiety flare up after some time is dangerous, maybe it isn’t. I am willing to feel anxious and to create a different relationship with it. This is some of the work I am doing to accept uncertainty with suicide ocd. Hard, but worth it.