An OCD Exercise to try on your own

ERP Exercise: Do Not Respond Your OCD wants one thing from you: A response. It throws thoughts, fears, images, doubts, feelings, and urges at you hoping you will engage with them. Think of it like a bully outside of yourself trying to get your attention. For this exercise, your job is not to win the argument.Your job is to simply: Do not respond. Trigger the thought or fear that normally causes anxiety. Then practice not responding: Do not respond mentally. Do not analyze it. Do not reassure yourself. Do not solve it. Do not check. Do not argue with it. Do not push it away. And importantly: Trying to force the thought out of your head is still a response. The goal is not to make the thought disappear. The goal is to become comfortable not responding to it. When you stop responding, you will feel uncertainty, discomfort, anxiety, or urgency. That feeling is the exposure. Stay with it. Let the feeling exist without trying to fix it. Continue on with your day while allowing the uncertainty to be there. Over time, your brain learns something powerful: Thoughts do not require responses. Uncertainty is tolerable. OCD loses power when you stop feeding it attention. At first, the bully may get louder because it wants engagement. But eventually, when you consistently do not respond, the thoughts lose their urgency and emotional grip. Freedom comes when you stop participating.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5d

This is really hard especially when it's ROCD about your partner the love of your life🥺

slippery_salad

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 5d

@Anonymous You frame it in such a way which shows me youre clinging to certainty that they are.. and yet you dont know that. ROCD is hard. I suffer from it too. Whats helped me tbh is knowing that love is a choice. Feelings eb and flow hence why love isnt a feeling. Im praying for you:)

Anonymous

Date posted: 4d

@slippery_salad I'm not sure I understand what you mean cause I truly do love her but hate the OCD about her/relationship.

slippery_salad

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

@Anonymous I know you love her haha. Let the feelings of doubt, fear, guilt, and shame exist while you choose her everyday forever. Love goes beyond feelings and urges. Choose your partner regardless of how you feel. Thats true love

eholly0205

Date posted: 15h

I feel your pain. I was tortured for years by retroactive jealous thoughts and It was excruciating! I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy, to be honest. I pray that God delivers you from this.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5d

Makes me feel disconnected from her when I wanna feel connected you know?🥺

SugarCookiessᰔ

Date posted: 5d

@Anonymous It’s gonna be okay. ROCD is treatable! It’s possible and I have faith in you

Dude01

Date posted: 23h

This might be one of the most practical and useful and specific posts I've read on here. Thanks for that! But of course, because of doubts on how much it'd help "me and my specific situation," I have to push back... But first, I agree -- The need to debate thoughts. On some themes, I did come to a realization of "Maybe the solution to the inner debate I'm having is not to find the perfect certain answer / solution to the debate -- the solution is you don't *have* to have the debate at all." To me, that sounds more like ERP? But for other themes like Real Event OCD or for ones that are still having an impact, I think it's tougher (at least for me). Regardless if I engage, it still has an impact, the thoughts and doubts still exist, and they're making an impact that is damaging my life. The uncertainty if the impact is from OCD (most likely) or it being the actual truth - and implications if it is - doesn't seem to go away for me. I could say "oh that's just OCD," but what if it's still having a negative impact? Almost like it's automatic? Another thing is I'm still unsure if ERP works for Real Event OCD. I'm trying to learn more. Reason is, it's not a "made up" thing, it happened, and it's a memory. You can't just like repress memories voluntarily. So it's gonna be a constant reminder. If it's an unresolved thing, or something that eats at your integrity etc, (if you don't "deal with it,") I don't know how just wishing it away or not engaging is a long term solution and actually gets closure. Can people do it? I'm sure they can. But can they do it unscathed? By unscathed I mean, can they do it while being able to keep their integrity in tact? I think the dilemma is people who want integrity want to be able to look everything in the face, truthfully. "Not engaging" seems to feed into delusion more than integrity. I hope I'm wrong though.

Anonymous

Date posted: 23h

Also sometimes I can be very calm and still ruminating about the instrusive image or obsessive fixation and that drains my mental energy making me feel mentally exhausted🥺

Anonymous

Date posted: 23h

Like I see something and my mind won't stop thinking or obsessing over it.

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