I did a lot of ERP on instagram this morning. It has made me feel like I genuinely want it, and then I don't trust myself in my current relationship with my fiance. I feel compelled to keep going back and gauge my reactions to the posts. Just looking for some support/if anyone has dealt with a similar experience.
Like I am trying so hard not to ruminate on past memories and thinking about how I felt about certain friends, but its hard to not think!
Something that helps me when I start ruminating on whether or not something is true or if I want something is to stop asking myself if the thought is true or not and ask myself if this thought is helpful? Does the thought serve your values? If not then let the thought come and go but don’t give it more time then it really deserves
@Anonymous What about ik I like men but turn wen I stare at a man I feel like it’s a women and I start to feel attracted to it errrr bro
Thank you, I will try this!
@Anonymous - This is the worst! I'm trying really hard to stop focusing on my "feelings"
I relate a lot to what you’re describing. When you’re focusing so much on trying not to ruminate, it makes it harder to not ruminate. I encourage you to trust the part of yourself that feels a genuine want to do ERP. Something that has helped me is using “maybe so, maybe not”. It has been my mantra as I’ve realized just how deep my discomfort with uncertainty is. When a distressing thought pops up, hit it with a maybe so, maybe not. It helps me to consider possibilities other than the worst case scenarios that I tend to focus on. I hope this is helpful <3
Yes! I love the "maybe, maybe not," and usually it helps the rumination, but today the thoughts were just a little stronger and it wasn't working as well. Sitting in the discomfort is the worst :(
I could’ve written this myself! The feelings are super real and convincing and I can related to what you said feeling like you don’t trust yourself in your relationship - I feel the exact same way with my boyfriend
It sucks, and I feel like my feelings switch around so much in a single day its hard to know what is real. And I try do "choose" my person everyday but this constant cycle of denial and pocking holes in my thoughts make it soooooo hard. Glad I'm not alone in feeling this way.
@Bubba100 I know exactly how you feel it’s almost like I’ve got two different brains and I don’t know which one is me because they both feel so convincing it’s so hard
@sprog - omg that's a great way of describing it! It's exhausting fighting both brains lol. I've been trying to distract myself and just live despite the thoughts but its soooo exhausting when I feel like they are just sitting there in my head waiting for me to respond and my brain is like "here here, respond to this!"
@Bubba100 I think it’s particularly hard when there’s that additional element of being in a relationship and feeling like you’re lying and needing to know for certain because I just don’t want to waste either of our time if I’m not who I say I am!
@sprog But I want to stay in this relationship so badly as I love him so it makes it so hard and it hurts me thinking about it
@sprog And what makes it even worse is that my SO OCD plays off my relationship so I’m constantly doubting my feelings for him too, it makes me really sad
@Bubba100 Yep! Me too sometimes I feel so numb and feel so guilty for it
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