What do I do

Hey everybody I need some advice I started talking to this guy who I really like for about two weeks and these last two days I have been let’s say asking for reassurance and over texting I feel but he is moving back home from college and had finals and barely slept and I’m worried it’s something I did it not we had a date planned on Friday but it got canceled cause he didn’t get home till late . I’m just worried I ruined everything because of my anxious attachment and anxiety

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20h

I am sorry you are having a difficult time with OCD. OCD is a jerk that takes what we care about and tries to destroy it. My advice would be that when the intrusive thought comes up - do not respond to OCD at all - nothing. Or in the alternative you could use response prevention responses such as shrugging your shoulders, or saying maybe, maybe not or anything is possible. What OCD is offering you is BS - there is absolutely no evidence that you did anything wrong - the evidence you have is that he got home too late to go out. Nothing more. Ocd is trying to fill in the blank. Our job is not stop it from happening.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

@Jeffrey But what if I pushed him away completely

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20h

@Anonymous What is a hallmark sign of OCD. OCD is creating worst case scenario without evidence. If you have pushed the person away, you will learn that eventually but now is not that time. Unfortunately we need to accept any and possibilities - but until you know for sure - all you have is speculation. Think of OCD as hearsay - because that is what is is. OCD is presenting something as fact that is not yet and may never be a fact.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

@Jeffrey How do I fix my over texting and constant apologizing

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20h

@Anonymous The way to fix it is to stop doing it. If you have an urge to text or apologize - go do a value based activity like taking a walk or whatever it is you enjoy doing. That will redirect your mind on to something else. That doesn’t mean the anxiety will magically go away - it probably won’t but the more you resist you are teaching your brain that this is snot the emergency that it thinks it is.

Anonymous

Date posted: 19h

@Jeffrey But what if I ruined everything I just got out of a three year long relationship two months ago and moved on but I feel like some of the stuff is hurting me and making me over texting

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19h

I know you are very distressed but you are ramping yourself up with all the what ifs. Treat a what if thought as OCD and don’t engage. Unless you have evidence that you have ruined everything - and from what you have said - you have no evidence - so you are ruminating and turning up the volume. If you want to respond to OCD say something like - maybe I have ruined everything - but maybe I haven’t. I guess I will find out at some point. And then go do a value based activity. I understand that you have been deeply wounded and that has caused relationship OCD - and I am sorry that people have mistreated you - it’s not fair and it’s not kind. But if you have ruined everything, then you will deal with it when it happens. Right now it is nothing.

Anonymous

Date posted: 19h

@Jeffrey He seems off so I’m not sure maybe I did something he is active on socials

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