Scared of meds vs. scared of staying the same

Hi everyone. I’ve been struggling a lot again and I’m dealing with a very specific fear about treatment. My doctor told me OCD is making my life really miserable, and I feel that too - but I’m scared of what “getting better” might mean. I only take short‑term anxiety meds. They help a bit, but not with OCD. I tried sertraline months ago and it felt like it was pushing me to feel better faster than I was ready for. I’d even be open to trying other medications instead of that one - but the fear is still the same. In my mind it feels like I have only two options: 1) take medication and become this “without OCD” version of myself that feels permanent because of long‑term effects, or 2) not take medication and stay the always‑struggling version. Both feel scary, and that’s why I feel stuck. If anyone has had this same fear - being scared of long‑term changes or of becoming a different version of yourself - I’d really appreciate hearing how you handled it. And if medication was the only thing that helped you personally, I’d like to understand why. I’m also wondering if anyone here managed to make progress without antidepressants - not because I’m against them, but because I’m trying to understand all possible paths. I’m scared of both directions and don’t know what makes more sense. Hearing from people who’ve been in this same conflict would mean a lot to me.

Taovryou

Date posted: 8h

I dealt with this myself. After dealing with ocd and anxiety for the past 6 years, this past January and February I had the worst spiral/breakdown i’ve ever had. For many years i did not want to take medication (as i am a person who doesn’t like to take meds unless its truly necessary) And even when i opened up about this to my doctor i told her i didn’t want any meds. However i got to a point where I got desperate. I had to ask myself: Do i want to keep living this way? And if medication is something that could truly help me, I decided to give it a shot. I’ve only been on zoloft for 6 weeks so i guess i can’t say whether or not its made much of a difference but i do see a significant decrease in anxiety levels and ocd thoughts. although i still struggle and currently working on erp i believe it has helped. Keep in mind that medication is not permanent and you can always tell your provider you’d like to stop taking it whenever you feel like it if you don’t like. Another thing wanted to address is i definitely have felt like “Who am i without ocd?” after dealing with it for so many years. the thought of Not dealing with obsessions and compulsions felt weird and somewhat scary because of how long it’s been such a big part of my life. But any kind of change is hard. it all comes down to one decision: Do you want to keep letting OCD control your life? Or do you want to pursue peace of mind? sorry this was long Hope this helps ❤️

amandaw8617

Date posted: 7h

I never liked the idea of having to take medication for potentially my lifetime for something or another as I have other medical conditions that require it but when you get a point where you feel that you have nothing left to lose and you’re thinking of taking your own life so vividly like in my case I was so burnt out and broken down by everything I had gone through during the pandemic and my mental health just shattered one night and I said its either get professional help or die. Harsh reality it had to come to that but I knew then and there I had to be willing to try all options to get my life back on track and on my own terms not defined by mental illness and loss. So I do take medication I have done therapy for the past four years I have done ERP which was hell but I am such a different person now. I take sertraline and do find it works well for me but everyone is different. I also in therapy my therapist made me think and answer her questions about what it would be like if I didn’t have ocd or anxiety or depression I also have epilepsy too. If I no longer had the disabilities that were such an integral part of who I am who would I be without it? What do I stand to lose and what do I stand to gain? Its a hard question and concept to process but only you can answer that

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