Messed up

@Hello777 Not getting up and doing things. Just continuing to sit around and not be productive. I know I should but it’s like I analyze do I want to. I know a lot of it is depression but I think it’s also just being lazy which I hate and don’t want to be that way. I have a lot of guilt about things I should have done but haven’t.

@Cher54 Thank you for sharing! Is there anything I can do to help support you? Encourage you? Do you think it’s anything about the environment or past things that makes you feel down? What types of things make you happy to do? If you would like to share! P.s. I know how you feel, I think!

@Hello777 Thank u for caring. Yes, it is very much worrying about past things which leads into the present. It’s a long story what led to all of this which I wouldn’t go into all of that here. I just feel down and no motivation which then leads to guilt and regret. Idk what u could say to help but thanks for listening thru text anyway. I guess I would rather sit and analyze my whole life all the time instead of living in the present. Not good.

@Cher54 I’m working on this now with my NOCD therapist. I literally just had my session. He is doing a “Behavioral Activation” assessment with me for depression and to add activities to activate me more and to stop thinking about past guilt. Like picking categories that mean a lot to me in life. Start with one category. For example, I picked Physical Health. And then do activities this week that contribute to that. Even if it’s only 10 minutes a day. There are different categories like: Time with family Time with spouse Volunteering Work Life Recreation Physical Health Etc. Maybe you can pick one category? Maybe you can start with your therapist with it, or you can even practice adding steps to that category with me if you want (or by yourself)! Just small, actionable steps!!

@Hello777 Oh! And I am also working on not apologizing all the time. I said that I am sorry about some past things that bothered me (even if they weren’t my fault). Now I just need to stop apologizing and keep going forward!!

@Hello777 U are doing soo good! And my problem is I know I SHOULD do these things but I feel stuck. It’s really stupid. And another thing that bothers me is my age which I’m not going there. lol I don’t feel like I should be this age and I think even if I start now doing the techniques, look at all the times I haven’t and it’s late in life, that really bothers me and I cry a lot, a whole lot. I know it’s never too late as they say, but I feel like it is, I think how much time does my husband and I have left on this Earth and I then really break down crying. I’m crying now! I’m not in therapy at this time but thinking I need to again. I guess I’m not a very good patient since I’ve been before and I’m not good staying in the present moment with a whole bunch of burdens I carry around with me. I just want to analyze it all even tho that just makes me sad and depressed. I’m a mess.