I was very eager about someone I had a deep connection with. Long story short, the person seems to be pulling away after I was very intense (obsessing internally but didn’t say anything bad). I hope it’s salvageable if I lessen my intensity and be relaxed again. But it’s hard. I fear it’s irreversible and I ruined a good thing. But I know that thinking itself is also OCD. It’s hard. Anyone feel me on this?
I feel like if you have a friend and you really care about them and they also care about you then your OCD should be something that should be given grace in that relationship.. it is not your mistake and you did your best.. maybe they have distances for their own reasons but I agree with the other commenters.. let things be as they are and if you miss your friend, reach out and ask if things can get better.. honesty is your value and I can tell because you are sharing your emotions and being raw on here.. OCD is not your value so do not let that decide how your relationships work.. you are in power.. take care
@GratitudeGirl This means a lot to me thank you. Because I do know my authenticity is refreshing to many people. The situation is complex, but long story short: I expressed my care with raw honesty in person, and it was executed with intensity in a way that might have made her think: “I don’t know if I have the capacity for this.” I feel like her energy is off in a way (from a digital standpoint) where it feels ambiguous that she is either just busy, needs space, or intentionally pulling back. I feel like regardless of which it is, my gut is that I have to match her energy from a digital standpoint so I don’t “overwhelm her.” So it’s like I’m playing a mind game right now: since she is not directly communicating and I know I was wound up when I saw her, it’s like I have to fix my energy to my relaxed non-ocd self next time I see her to potentially make her more at ease. And this level of uncertainty is arguably due to her mixed signals. It’s like she wants to figure things out while doing enough to say “the door is still open,” yet avoiding direct communication due to lack of bandwidth or whatever her limitations are. My OCD makes that uncertainty intolerable, so I need to work on that…but I can’t be responsible for whatever is happening on her end. I was direct bc I didn’t want to play games.
@Doglover93 Yes it is extremely refreshing that you dont give into those petty games and it is true you cannot control her behavior or reactions.. at this point try to ease the stress on your side by not giving it much thought and hopefully time will heal this and you can get close again.. good job
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been there. I find it helps me to feel better to have a distraction of investing in my more secure relationships and then letting that person come around in their own time. Good luck
The thing is, maybe it is ruined. Sometimes things in life just don't turn out the way you want them to. It is also possible that maybe it is salvageable. Regardless, I wish you the best, and I hope you get through this.
@Kevin V It’s about being able to tolerate the uncertainty. It might even be nothing. Problem is we tend to analyze neutral signals so they become something we need to solve…instead of just living in the present. It’s so hard, but I know that’s what I need to do.
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