ROCD is so hard

Whew! That intense guilt, loop, compulsion cycle is tough in relationships. I did that frequently in previous relationships and convinced myself I was awful or unlovable because of it. But it did get better with support and now those intense cycles happen way less frequently than before. It also helped me to name the shame or guilt. I’d just notice it and say, there’s OCD trying to get my attention again, and it’d help me get out of the loop, take a breath, and move forward rather than cycle back around. With practice and patience it got easier for me, I’m sure it will for you the more you learn to sit in the anxiety and let it pass rather than temporarily treat it with more compulsions. You’re not a bad person, you wouldn’t care this much if you were so give yourself some grace.

As an OCD person, I've always felt a strong sense of guilt. It shadowed everything. One day, startled, I realized I didn't know WHAT I felt guilty about. The answer was NOTHING! I still have a sense of guilt, but it's not as strong as it used to be. Best wishes to you

ROCD has been my main theme for the past few years. It’s really hard, with that pesky, pseudo-guilt that feels real but you don’t really think it’s real but you can’t be sure but…(cue the spiraling) Two things give me comfort. The first: how lucky are we, that we have partners who matter so much to us that OCD tries to stick to it. If they didn’t mean so much, OCD wouldn’t care, and not everyone is so lucky to have a person like that in their lives. The second one is more important though—I want my partner to be happy, and that means I want to be my best self for him. That means facing my OCD head on. Taking on every challenge it gives me. All the compulsions I get around cheating, confessing, etc…I resist them. When my OCD tells me that maybe I don’t deserve him, I hold his hand and spend the day with him anyway, because I know it will make me better, and I want to be better for my partner every day. We got this, friend. Stay strong!