Frustrated

Ok gang, I’m calling all and any that can help. I have so-ocd, 29 now, started at 11-12? But I’m having a really hard time of catching compulsions My thought process will go something like this. “You’re gay” Me- ok maybe maybe not “See your in denial” Me- well ok, then i start thinking about the proof that proves to my feared outcome of gay Then i go back and forth about things that point to both, In really having a hard time cutting compulsions and being present for my fiancee She is very supportive but.. i need help thanks!

AllisonRojas

Date posted: 4d

My go-to response prevention is “that would suck!” It takes some time before it becomes reflexive, but I find it’s just the right balance of sarcasm, acknowledgment of anxiety, and acceptance of uncertainty. You could also take some time to explore what the core fear behind being gay would be. That process could look something like… What if I’m gay? What would it mean if that is true? It would mean _____. And what would it mean if _____ is true? And you keep going until you feel like you’ve hit the root of the fear. Then you can tailor your response prevention to that and potentially design some exposures to work on the fear. Everyone is different, but I usually feel a little sick to my stomach when I realize what the real fear is. It’s hard to face that stuff! And I’m often surprised by what the core fear actually is. In any case, this OCD stuff is really really HARD. You’re in the trenches right now but you’ve got this! Just take it one day at a time and don’t hesitate to reach out for help. This community is so supportive and I find no matter how weird/specific my question is, somebody knows something or at least has a really great idea. Good luck, my friend. I wish you all the best!

zzyyxx

Date posted: 4d

That was a really helpful comment. I myself experience something similar right now. What i wonder is that, how did you find the core fear that triggers the episodes?

AllisonRojas

Date posted: 4d

@zzyyxx I’m so glad it was helpful to you! I like to think of it like unlocking doors. You start with the immediate fear you’re experiencing and you ask yourself what it would mean if that fear came true. Then whatever your answer is, you ask yourself what would it mean if THAT fear came true. And you keep doing that until you feel like there’s nothing beyond the fear you’ve identified. I can give an example from my own experience and maybe it will make more sense… What if this song never stops playing in my head? —> I would feel mentally exhausted forever What if I felt mentally exhausted forever? —> I would feel overwhelmed by life What if I felt overwhelmed by life? —> I wouldn’t be able to function What if I couldn’t function? —> I wouldn’t be productive enough What if I’m not productive enough? —> I won’t have any value Etc etc etc … until you hit a hard stop. That will be your core fear behind whatever obsession you started with.

zzyyxx

Date posted: 2d

@AllisonRojas Thank you for explaining and the example was very helpful too. I believe i can try this myself. Starting with minor fears and then as i get used to it i can gradually increase it. After all i believe there is no other way than facing your fears and overcoming them if you want to beat OCD.

AllisonRojas

Date posted: 2d

@zzyyxx You got this! I’m really proud of you! It takes a lot of courage to face your fears, but you’re absolutely right. The only way out is through. And if it is of any encouragement, I can say from experience that one day you’ll look back on some of the scariest things you’ve faced and think “huh, I can’t believe that used to bother me so much.” It sounds like an impossible fantasy when you first learn about ERP, but this stuff really works. I wish you the very best luck, my friend. You’re going to do great!

Bubba100

Date posted: 2d

A lot of people on here are dealing with similar thoughts, including myself. I do the same exact rumination. I thinks it’s also just a matter of being consistent with mentally acknowledging and not engaging. The previous comment on here seems incredibly helpful

DK27

Date posted: 2d

Saying this with kindness (and also saying it to myself) but you're engaging with the thoughts too much. Your "maybe, maybe not" is a good start but when OCD follows up, you begin debating it, which your mind is going to view as evidence to keep producing that obsession. I get the struggle of being silent when obsessions scream at you, but I would encpurage you not to fight on its playing field. You will never beat OCD with logic. You beat it by starving it. When it accuses you of being in denial, maybe just respond with "That's an interesting thought. Moving on." Don't start losing the reasons for or against what it's accusing you of.

Mike_Fed

Date posted: 2d

@DK27 All very fair points, not even remotely mad, this is why we have community

DK27

Date posted: 2d

@Mike_Fed Phew. I get worried sometimes! By I know the challenge of ruminating. That's literally my go to compulsion. My brain hates being quiet, especially when obsessions ate being loud....

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

oh my GOSH you just reminded me about engaging. I ALWAYS engage because I forget I am not supposed to make sense or find the answer. Thank you

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

"you never beat OCD with logic" my comment below this post talks about struggling logically, so this made me laugh thank you for the reminder

Zeezeezee

Date posted: 2d

I’m a transgender gay man. I constantly misgender myself in my mind and then go crazy over it lol , you’ve got this and we’re in it together

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

I don't have any tips, but I think you made me realize I might have this struggle as well. you explained it well. I will have the same thoughts but then be like "i really am not." and then when a sexual thing comes up I go through the same loop of thoughts sometimes and it really is frustrating to fight with yourself. Then at the end of the day, I struggle logically wrapping my head around the fact that the brain can have the power to do these things (ocd). So yeah it's WILD

Mike_Fed

Date posted: 2d

@Anonymous You got this!

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond