Fear of misinterpreting information

I did my ERP assignment which is reading without rereading and looking at the space before the first word to make sure I am starting from the beginning and also the space after the last word of the line to make sure I got everything before going to the next line. I think I misinterpreted information because I didn't read something twice. At first I thought it was ok but started experiencing symptoms of anxiety from the doubt. Now I am convinced from the anxiety and doubt that I misinterpreted it and have high anxiety almost to a panic. I don't know how to process this and move on. The anxiety won't go away until I resolve this. I don't totally understand ERP yet and how you can just deal with the uncertainty and move on. Not happy with my therapist right now because he cancelled too much. He knows that this theme is a 90 SUD score. I don't know what to do? Does anyone have this problem and could help? I took a Klonopin to relax; I went to sleep for a little and woke up in a slight panic. Coincidentally the anxiety followed me into my dream before waking up and taking a Klonopin to get rid of some of the symptoms. Please any advice.

Anon mouse

Date posted: 3d

life is full of mistakes, and it's okay to make them, erp is like desensitizing yourself. because your brain is wired to set out false alarms. you just have to acknowledge it and not give it the power over you. so what if you read a paragraph wrong? it feels overwhelming and scary like a giant wave that's gonna crush you, but just like every other time, it's not that big of a deal. you're just scared. maybe you got it wrong, maybe you didn't. either way you'll still be here, friend.

Ninarap

Date posted: 3d

What's the worst thing that could happen if you misinterpret the information?

Mike6060

Date posted: 2d

It makes me feel vulnerable that I would subsequently rely on false information (if it's important) and use it for someone or something and it would cause a bad consequence. I get my sense of security and confidence with information.

Mike6060

Date posted: 2d

I only read a small amount of a OCD book and tried to just dismiss all of the information and not use it as a resource. It's the only coping mechanism I know. It worked at first but still is bothering me.

Jessica B.

Date posted: 3d

How many times has your therapist canceled?

Mike6060

Date posted: 2d

It's not an NOCD therapist but I lose a session every 3 weeks. I see him one third of the time. It's barely been 3 months and he knows I need the therapy.

Jessica B.

Date posted: 2d

@Mike6060 I’d start shopping.

Mike6060

Date posted: 2d

@Jessica B. Yes I agree

Betterbrain

Date posted: 3d

I know the anxiety is SO uncomfortable especially when you are first starting ERP, but its normal. Sometimes I would break an OCD'rule' (like not re-reading something) and it would nag at me for DAYS before I could let it go. Your OCD mind is going to tell you that you are bad, lazy, irresponsible for not making sure uou understood something you read, but OCD is a dirty, rotten liar. You can be proud of yourself for doing this!

Mike6060

Date posted: 2d

I also want to thank everyone who commented and gave support. Thanks for caring. The whole totality of my anxiety and OCD has been a daily struggle and very difficult. My family doesn't understand. But you do.

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