Is it possible

Do you think it’s possible to move on from a real event that’s actually bad? I did something horrible when I was a child and I often see people talking about how it doesn’t matter if you’re a child you deserve consequences etc. I don’t know how I can forgive myself. It makes me so sick to my stomach very often to think about hurting a close friend (at that time). I don’t know how or why I was such an evil child but it breaks my heart for that person. I’ve done erp and it always comes back.

Real Events OCD

Buttons B

Date posted: 12h

Yep it’s possible I know this because I’ve done it - doesn’t mean I think I’ve done nothing wrong, it means I’ve decided to be a better person and accept the person I was before as someone who was younger and troubled

Justmesadly

Date posted: 12h

@Buttons B That’s a great point. Did you simply do ERP, or what steps did you take if you don’t mind sharing bc nothing I’ve done helps longer than a month or so and we will be trying for kids soon and I don’t want this to effect my children

Buttons B

Date posted: 12h

Well I am in ERP now but for a different theme. I think honestly the older I get and the more time passes the more perspective I get on what it means to be a child versus not a child. I think trauma-informed therapy was very useful for me, I think specifically IFS.

Justmesadly

Date posted: 12h

@Buttons B Sometimes I think that too. And that helped me for a long time and then I saw a video of my exact situation and read the comments and feel really really awful and unforgivable again

Buttons B

Date posted: 11h

@Justmesadly Never read the comments is a rule I try to live by. Easier said than done. People on the internet are garbage to each other - that is a research-backed sociological fact - and they don’t know you in any meaningful capacity. To ERP it: Maybe you’re bad, maybe you’re not - the people on the internet aren’t the ones to ask.

Justmesadly

Date posted: 11h

@Buttons B Trust me I’m not asking them lol. I know I’m horrible. That’s not up for discussion. They are talking about other people in the exact same situation

Buttons B

Date posted: 11h

@Justmesadly You’re evaluating yourself by proxy by using the similar circumstance as a 1:1 comparison to you. To that end, you are kind of “asking them” is what I mean. It’s not literal asking but it’s looking for reassurance via the comments section. At least that’s my ERP read on it as I do the same thing with Reddit comments sometimes and it’s not a good thing.

Justmesadly

Date posted: 11h

@Buttons B Ah okay, I understand!

tedlassoenjo...

Date posted: 11h

have you learned and grown from this experience? if so you’re not as horrible as you may think

Justmesadly

Date posted: 11h

@tedlassoenjoyer! Oh gosh ! Yes of course I have. But that doesn’t take away the damage done

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