Faith ocd Christian’s.

Does anyone think everything is idolatry or everything is a sin and everything you enjoy is God telling you it’s wrong. Cuz sometimes my brain will be like oh if you go… then I go and try to overcome the compulsion to cancel or whatever it is. But then if I don’t go and I have anxiety then maybe I’m supposed to not cuz I’m denying my flesh by suffering for that. Then I’ll see a post online abt the same fear I was worried abt that I ignored and maybe it was a conviction. Then when I take a breather and just try not to think abt it and feel fine I’m like oh I’m being complacent in my faith and not following what God wants or I will frantically read the Bible I try to read it everyday but then if I don’t understand it as deep as other people who actually STUDY it am I even learning. Like I feel like I’m supposed to give up everythinggg If I love the Lord. And I try and ask him all my compulsions and what if thoughts but maybe I’m just ignoring everything he’s telling me. Cuz everytime I read the Bible I spiral unless it’s soothing but we shouldn’t just want the Good stuff but then when I feel convicted I’m like oh that’s good I def need to work on that or I’ll spiral down the rabbit hole over again abt salvation then Gods gonna be like oh you didn’t trust me. And what if I’m not truly being transformed or change or have never felt it but think about God everyday and I know he’s not a set of rules but feel SO MUCH pressure. But life isn’t supposed to be easy and we should deny ourselves if we want to follow him. And I’m just making excuses. And maybe he’s telling me to give everything up cuz I care too much abt material things. Then I’ll get in a really deep spiritual slump and I’m like why can I discern these real things and see that from a biblical lense and struggle so much with knowing the truth and then not wanting to deal with it. I’m like it must be a sign or a warning I’m supposed to do something For God. And that I should be farther along in my walk with Christ but I’m not doing anything to step boldly in faith and not telling people about Jesus and what if my what if thoughts are true and I can’t sit in uncertainty about Christianity. Other things yeah but not Jesus