I kinda regret getting diagnosed…

Hi Kaymo56 👋 This happened to me when I first started treatment. It sounds like Meta OCD to me: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/obsessing-about-obsessing-is-this-really-ocd I didn’t know it at the time, but as I began to learn more about the extent of OCD’s grip on my life, I began to fear just how deeply the condition had been controlling me, and I also began to fear how much I was unaware of. This fear triggered OCD to switch tactics to protect me; now, it was trying to protect me from OCD by making me hyper-vigilant, compulsively checking for whether my thoughts and actions were driven by “me” or my OCD. Believe it or not, this seems pretty common within the first few months of therapy, especially after an identity-shattering diagnosis. If you continue with treatment and shift some of your attention to Meta OCD as a theme, you can develop a plan to tackle it with your therapist. You may feel like you regress as you struggle to adapt your strategies, but remember, *you are learning*, not “failing” and “doomed” like OCD wants you to believe. Remember, OCD craves certainty, so being “certainly doomed” because of a small downturn in your recovery is what OCD wants. It thinks you will be “safe” once you find certainty, even if it is horrifically negative. Don’t let it win! When OCD changes tactics like this, stay patient, and (together with your therapist) focus on finding the *root fears* of each theme that is presenting. You’ll often find a *loss of control* at the heart of what you fear. After identifying this, build an ERP plan around each theme, and simply do the homework. No more, no less. As you fine-tune your approach, you’ll simply get better at managing OCD—but it takes time! After a few months of hard work in therapy, I remember looking up one day and realizing I had extinguished almost all of my physical compulsions. The sense of freedom was indescribable and brought me to tears. Keep at it! You can get there too. 💪 Wishing you luck from here 🍀