Struggling with Retroactive Jealousy 18+

I had the same thing with an ex. For one, its good u recognize the prying was largely ocd and not healthy. Prying and trying to feel better but in a worry state and learning worse things and still uncertain if shes hiding more for hours as she changes details is rlly hard. Any time u want to in the future pry her for something you can see if it is compulsive in nature and try to reel yourself in. I handled it bad back then but now i think this is how id handle it. One, all feelings are acceptable, including ones like guilt over causing this stuff or guilt over feeling less about her or whatnot. No need to fight urself on feelings, which i did, because these arent permanent. Two, my past didnt ever feel that great, idk if hers really was either. Remembering ur own past and how little it means now. Three, right now whats my decision. Do i want to replay this? Maybe yes or no, genuinely asking urself. Do i wanna do this action? Maybe yes or no. Do i wanna break up? Genuinely asking. This gives u back more control I feel. Four, anything i ask for in the future may hurt me, this is a life lesson, so ive gotta be ready when i make that decision. But this is a really really hard thing to go through, so good luck man.

I relate. It kept me up at night. Intense anxiety all day. I got on Clomipramine and the thoughts decreased 90% as well as the horrible feelings. They pop up sometimes but I don’t stay stuck as I do before

Experiencing envy is a very normal part of the human experience. When we feel down on ourselves, it can come out as comparision to others. I will often feel down on myself compare to others. I usually combat this kind of thinking by focusing more on my own personal goals. None of us can be everything ever at all at once. Try to ask yourself if the comparision even matters. Do you even want those experiences? Or do you just feel the need to be on that same level?