does this have a specific type

(I call my OCD he because it’s easier to talk about him when he’s personified like this) Everytime i try to enjoy something, my OCD keeps telling me “You wouldn’t have done this if you never saw the evil.”, “Would you have made all those achievements if you didn’t see the evil?” Even downloading this app triggered it “Would you have downloaded this app if you never saw the evil?” I used to love drawing, gaming, etc but this bastard gets angry even when i listen to him, when i don’t do my hobbies he says i’d miss out on good things because of “the evil” and that it’ll become a permanent mark on my records Worst part is, on some things, i feel like he has a point, so it feels as though he’s got me in a checkmate im sorry if i overshared but i had to let it out, kinda strayed away from the main topic of this post which is finding out the specific name for this kind of OCD

stewa719

Date posted: Yesterday

I don’t know if it has a name but I’ve had (I think) a similar experience. I study math and sometimes when I’m having an intrusive thought and I think of math, I’ll tell myself “If you do math right now, it’s because you thought of that gross/evil thing” and somehow that means I like this thing in some way. Or I’m motivated to do things I like by “bad things.” It’s really hard but I try to do the things I enjoy without thinking about why exactly I’m doing them in that moment. If I have an intrusive thought and then to get the desire to do math, I try just to study because I feel like I want to. I don’t have to worry about “did the thoughts make me want to study?” I try to tell myself “I don’t know what exactly caused that desire in me and it’s not possible to figure that out exactly.” Stay strong!

anonnymous0542

Date posted: Yesterday

@stewa719 mine doesn’t budge, even when my arguments should work, like telling it “Maybe i did, maybe i didn’t”, it just comes back again and again i KNOW what caused me to do things, i don’t know if i would or wouldn’t have gotten back into an interest i forgot about if i never saw the evil, no matter what i threw at it or even in moments where i THOUGHT i won, it never leaves me I tried the “Your doing this cause you want to” thing cause my cousin told me to, but it’s hard to argue against it when it’s technically right in a way, so im pretty much stuck in an endless logic battle tldr; my OCD is technically right about some things, which keeps me trapped, and i dont know if i WOULD or WOULDN’T have done certain things if i didn’t see the evil im sorry if all of this is irrelevant or sounds like i didn’t read

stewa719

Date posted: 13h

@anonnymous0542 The things you’re saying definitely resonate with me. Maybe you can try viewing him (your ocd) has like a really annoying, constantly present but crazy person whispering things in your ear. You can’t make him go away, you can’t argue with him because he always has a counter argument and he’s stubborn: he doesn’t want to change his mind. Maybe then you can worry less about like “winning” or the ocd being right vs you being right and just being like “that’s my old ocd again! Even if he makes some point that maybe is reasonable, he’s still just some crazy guy.”

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