POCD tips

Hello. I just need some tips for pocd. It started two summers ago when I was 16-17 and now I am 18 and a half. For background , before all this hit I used to love interacting and playing with children, I just had a natural aptitude towards it, and I even potentially wanted to become a kindergarten teacher due to it, and have many kids of my own. But because of this, it has scared me so much and I am so unhappy. I hate it so much. It ruined my entire senior year of highschool, and while it is not as debilitating as it was in the beginning it is still there even through my freshman year of university. Being good with kids was something I used to pride myself on. But now I feel like I've lost all way to interact with them normally without busting a blood vessel. I've been through a little bit of therapy and things have gotten a bit easier, I guess. My therapist said to say "maybe. Maybe not." To any thought that pops up, but what do you do after? It's not even thoughts about hurting a child I'm interacting with, it's with the discomfort that I even have it and think I will hurt them. There is no thought, just fear. So do I just say "maybe, maybe not" to that discomfort as well? And after I say that to myself, how do I stop myself from checking? Once I know how to do this and stand brave against it, I think I can go back to my true, normal self. I'm just confused on what I should do after. I want to do some sort of pivot, maybe look at something and name 3 things about it or something, but is that a compulsion in and of itself? I don't know. But please help. Also, I try to visualize my pocd as something separate to myself, like a tumor/teratoma speaking to me. I don't know if that's a compulsion, but it definitely makes it easier to let go. But if it is a compulsion please let me know because I don't want to keep doing it then.

kathleen23

Date posted: 13h

Hello. I am currently struggling with something very similar to you. In fact, I too have always loved kids and being around them, and have also considered a career in which I would work with kids. I totally get how distressing this subtype is. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone🩵

ezzieorsomet...

Date posted: 12h

Personally, and I don't know if this will help you, but I try to understand the mechanisms of OCD. OCD is ego dystonic. Meaning because it is the opposite of what you want that is why it is destressing if that makes sense. I too suffer with intrusive worries of harming others or being unsafe. I don't know if viewing it as something seperate from yourself is a compulsion or not if I'm being honest. However, I too often view as sort of an opposing mirror, it's showing me exactly what I don't want, because I'm worried about it, and then the rituals/compulsions come from trying to prevent the thing you don't want. Also, when you are highly anxious/stressed, the naming 3 things or counting or breathing deeply are grounding tools, helping you ride through the uncertainty and discomfort. In general, the reason why ERP Focuses on "maybe, maybe not" is because OCD is seeking certainty.

Anonymous

Date posted: 8h

Okok got it, so I can use those grounding tools? I still feel that discomfort, but I can still use it through it. Not to fight it, just to make it easier to get through. A lot of people have told me that practice and patience makes perfect when it comes to this kind of thing. I used to be so scared of just letting the fear go through discomfort, but now I'm finally beginning to understand that letting go of it doesnt mean I am accepting the fear/moral behind it. I'm just confused bc doing that grounding stuff does rly help me ride out the discomfort, so I hope it isn't a compulsion

Hieronymus

Date posted: 8h

What helped me a lot actually and I had a REALLY bad case of POCD was actually going to forest school with my family. You’re surrounded by kids and parents but it’s in a wide open space where you can skedaddle away if things get overwhelming. I hope an opportunity like this one day greets you.

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