Upset

I thought I conquered pocd yet here it is again. I am super proud of myself for getting this far with my journey. I’m able to be outside & even found a job! But today this strange weird son of a b* started questioning me. You know how weirdos want to catch a flaw when your a beautiful girl w a pure heart & personality. They want to know what is wrong they want to find out because everyone has a flaw mine just isn’t visible. But he managed to find it! by mentioning things that triggers me & he noticed my trigger & i refuse to explain why im triggered/pocd to a weird stranger that wants to find my flaw I simply walked away but this has been the worsy day when I was doing so great i am crying. Do you know how many years I missed out on my niece & nephew life because of pocd. I almost killed myswld i thought my brain & intrusive thoughts meant i was turning into a monster like the same monster who molested me when I was a child. I would’ve ended my life if I didn’t find out it was ocd all along & I’m still a good person. But to know how far I came & a weird f4ggot ssa man come around trying to find a flaw was very strange. He’s a weirdo & I’m so upset! Then nocd app is charging me for a missed appointment my stupid therapist scheduled when. I never told her to schedule me cause I was busy now I have to wait until i get paid to speak to a professional! thanks for listening

Cher54

Date posted: 9h

I’m not a therapist or anything and I’m lots older than most of you guys that’s on here I’m sure. But I sure can sympathize with your feelings. I cry all the time and have depression over all the choices and decisions I’ve made all through my life that I wish I could change. I also have missed out on things that were important to me which really upsets me and has for years now. I don’t know anything about the POCD but from what I have read from everyone’s stories on this app, it seems the therapist all have the same techniques on intrusive thoughts, which is not trying to get rid of the thought or fight with it because it doesn’t do any good. It’s like the story of the elephant in the room when someone tells you not to think of an elephant and that’s what you’re going to think of. I think and like I said I’m not a therapist, but I have intrusive thoughts as well but to me the best way is just to say I see you, but you have no power over me. Now as a Christian, I like to put a spiritual swing to it, for instance adding to the end of that sentence saying, God is my power so be gone! In my opinion, I think whatever mantra u put on it that helps you without fighting with it would be ok. You could put your own spin to it. You could sit down with a pen and paper and think of all the things that you could say that would be helpful. Like, U know you are just a useless little pest so I’m just gonna go over here and listen to some music or even dance to some music. I think the thing is is to just ignore them and not give them any power. I’m preaching to myself now. I hope I have said something that has helped you. I will keep u and everybody on here in my prayers. God bless you and please don’t give up. There’s always hope. Just look up. ❤️🙏🏻

Anonymous

Date posted: 9h

@Cher54 my ocd used to be soooo bad I couldn’t even step out the house door or even have a night w out anxiety attacks! i know there’s a GOD he pulled me out that crazy time when ocd convinced me i was a bad person. THE LORD DID THAT! & honestly i believe he has a purpose for me maybe an advocate for mental health maybe i continue school & advance research im not sure but i know i have a purpose!!!The problem is no longer with intrusive thoughts or things like that it’s like a shame??? Lost time dwelling on dumb ocd & a crazy panic attack when someone mentions things related to my pocd & my brain automatically assume they think I’m weird because I’m reacting strange towards the topic no it’s pocd & im uncomfortable still w the thought of explaining it to anyone else. It causes me a mini panic attack!!! but I wouldn’t have a problem if people weren’t so weird looking for flaws but hey we live in a country full of haters looking for flaws. I’m going back to therapy soon so I can go through ERP maybe that will help me get over the anxiety or like weird topics being brought up yk … but I have ALOT of hope I came SO far nobody will understand thanks for listening

Cher54

Date posted: 8h

U are so welcome. But yes continue school and u are right we all have a purpose. Not sure what mine is right now. But u could help a lot of people struggling like u. Hang in there. ❤️

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