I’m having some trouble; I just found the perfect apartment near my school and I went to speak with the company about signing a lease. I had a huge fear that what if my roommate is gay because I am dealing with HOCD. And guess what I find out today.. she’s lesbian. And I have nothing against gay/lesbian but my HOCD is starting to flare up again and part of me doesn’t care but part of me is worried :/ what do I do? I feel like God is trying to mess with me and I’m not okay with challenges like this. It’s the perfect location and apartment and now I’m thinking of looking elsewhere..

It could be great exposure. But in all situations if you feel your health is at risk and you have to make the right decision for your health. I’m sure she wouldn’t want to feel like she has to be limited or worry about being herself in her own home either. It’s something that’s usually on our mind outside of our homes. Needs to be a safe space for both of you.

Yes your OCD is going to use it as a trigger but the good news is that you get to decide how to react when it says things to you!!! I would take the apartment if you are in professional ERP therapy. If you’re only doing self counseling maybe this is not the time to try to tackle this challenge.

I am seeking professional help, thankfully! A few months ago I would be over analyzing this over and over again thinking if this is a “sign” form God or not. Now it is VERY minimal analyzing but I’m still worried. I’m currently looking at other places because I need a back up plan. If I can find a better option, I would not take this place. But this is like the exact place I want to be at! I am struggling..

There's no confusion in God and and He will never ever have plans of harming you in any way. You thinking that God is sending you signs that your intrusive thoughts are true is indeed an intrusive thought itself. The reason that happened is because that's your ocd fear. The more you fear a certain obsession the more you will encounter stuff pertaining to it. Use this as exposure. You can do this

I think that if you want the apartment, go for it. Show OCD that it can try to tell you what to do, but ultimately you are in control. Don’t let it keep you from being happy at an apartment you would definitely go for if OCD wasn’t an issue. It is up to you though, and if you feel uncomfortable you can choose not to live there. But it seems to me like you love the place and I don’t think you should let OCD get in the way of that. Stay strong!