Reminders for those with Real Event OCD

I'm reminding myself, but I thought it would be helpful for others to hear: - You do not have to disclose your real event to *anyone.* You're not violating anyone's boundaries or faking who you are by not disclosing it. If it's not compulsive or reassurance-seeking then feel free to, but you are under no obligation whatsoever to do so. As long as you have learned from and no longer engage in the same behavior, you do not need to tell anyone! - Accountability is recognizing your mistakes and apologizing to those who have been directly hurt by them. It is *not* deeming yourself a bad person because of past actions. People may choose not to forgive you for your actions and that's fine, but anyone else who expects you to suffer forever for them—especially if they weren't impacted by them—is expecting the impossible. Being the person you want to be in the present is the best possible thing you can do. - The Internet is not a reflection of real life. You should not define yourself by the opinions of strangers who don't even know you. Offline, people are most likely to be much more understanding of your real event than those online anyway; they don't have the anonymity to hide behind. Take a breather. Go outside and connect and find the life and community you would like to be apart of as the person you are now. You are loved.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

What if you can't apologize to the person involved (unable to contact, might make situation worse, etc.)?

mjr-rust

Date posted: 2d

@Anonymous I know personally this is the case for one of my real events. It's hard, but it's just another scenario where you have to accept the uncertainty surrounding it. Think about if you *could* apologize to them, what would you say and how you would support them.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

@mjr-rust Thank you!

Mercury75

Date posted: 2d

Saving this for when I need a reminder, thank you ❤️

JessA 🌞

Date posted: 2d

👏

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

Times like this I realize I'm not alone in feeling all of those things and that I truly do have a disorder, thank you

marie811

Date posted: 2d

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

Definitely needed this right now, thank you.

Neil_B

Date posted: 2d

Is it at all uncommon for the feeling of unyieldingly wanting to apologize, take accountability, and suffer whatever guilt/punishments are deserved a common compulsion in regards to real event OCD? Because I've got a few past situations where I feel if I don't apologize, take accountability, or get punished for what may or may not have happened, I'll never be able to move on and it will forever eat away at my soul/mind.

mjr-rust

Date posted: 20h

@Neil_B Not at all uncommon, I suffer from the same. But once again it's OCD in that these actions are a one and done deal; punishing yourself excessively and with the expectation of that punishment being forever doesn't solve anything. It doesn't give you the time to grow instead. Sometimes we may even feel the need to take these actions when they aren't even necessary (i.e., a mistake you made that no one knows about and thus wasn't harmed by). It's excessive guilt. OCD wants you to wrap up what happened in a neat little bow, but unfortunately that is never possible. You do your best and focus on becoming a better person now rather than trying to wash yourself of past mistakes.

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