Constantly thinking your partner is cheating or will cheat or has cheated and you missed it. Or that you’re on the wrong path, you aren’t with the person that was Gods will for you. I obsssess over if he is talking to other women on his phone, and then ask for reassurance, and then feel guilty and apologize, and then the urge to accuse or check or say something comes back again. It’s ruining everything. And I’m sad
I’m the exact same. I don’t worry too much about if she’s the right person, I made that choice myself and decided that she is. But I look for opportunities for her to have possible cheated in, or possibilities that she can cheat, like while I’m at work, or while she’s at work. Basically, if I’m not entirely sure she couldn’t have cheated, I get extremely anxious and physically hot just thinking about it and not knowing. So I ask for reassurance, and when my partner feels attacked by the allegations, it turns to a fight, which makes the initial question of if she’s cheated much worse. Even when I do things that make her upset or just let her down slightly. I think about it for a while, dreading that that was the final straw that is going to push her into cheating on me. I’ve gotten to the point where sometimes when I ask if she has cheated, i would rather hear her admit she did it, than tell me no again, because then I can just get over it and start new, instead of constantly worrying about not knowing the real answer.
@Dannyr Omg. This is almost exactly the same situation with me!! It’s like my mind defaults to it and I can’t help but to look for opportunities or ways he could’ve cheated, and I’ve asked for reassurance so much that it has turned into a fight every time now! And yes, then the fight makes that feeling of cheating even stronger and almost more concrete in my mind. It’s so hard. He even took a polygraph for me once. I really want to get past this! Are you still seeing a therapist?
@Dannyr Omg. This is almost exactly the same situation with me!! It’s like my mind defaults to it and I can’t help but to look for opportunities or ways he could’ve cheated, and I’ve asked for reassurance so much that it has turned into a fight every time now! And yes, then the fight makes that feeling of cheating even stronger and almost more concrete in my mind. It’s so hard. He even took a polygraph for me once. I really want to get past this! Are you still seeing a therapist?
@intrusivethot01 I haven’t seen a therapist. I’m someone that doesn’t really believe therapy would work for me. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t see one, just personally, I don’t. But to be honest, it was only recently I realised it’s related to OCD, I just thought I was really insecure. But it’s really hard because I just wish my partner could hear it as me struggling with something rather than attacking her. I don’t want to accuse her of cheating, but the thoughts are so much louder than my will to not ask. Literally yesterday her ex boyfriend (from 4 years ago) (we have been together for 3.5years) , out of the blue walked across the road right in front of our house, we are from the same major city but different towns if that makes sense. So to see him walk past was very scary. I’m still overthinking about it but I’m just trying not to accuse my partner, but I will find I’ve said things like “you better not go looking for him now”, because for some reason i feel like I need to tell her even if she really hated the man. I stalked his Facebook though and found out he has a new girlfriend, who lives in mine and my partners town now so it explains why he was in our town, that’s diffused the situation for me anyway.
I have the compulsion to check phones, emails, Snapchat. and even without permission. it gets so strong. you're not alone!
@bluebird27 Thank you, bc it feels like I am alone and it’s just me who’s like this. I’m so tired of my mind being this way!
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