advice?

so i've been through countless therapists atp. i have ocd, adhd, anxiety, depression, and chronic illness, and am almost certainly autistic (i am being officially evaluated next month). no therapist has really been equipped to handle the complexity of everything im dealing with and ive spent hours and hours going through therapist profiles in the past. i've been seeing a LCSW for a few months, and honestly she is putting no effort into actually treating me. basically they are just venting sessions, which is still cathartic sometimes, but we are not actively getting to the bottom of any of my issues. then again, my nervous system is already so overloaded and exhausted all the time from being chronically ill that i don't know if i have the capacity to get into deep processing of trauma right now, or whether that would be a wise choice. i think the only way im going to get a proper therapist at this point is if i choose someone who's not in-network with insurance, which of course is stupid expensive and i already have such high medical costs. i've been in therapy on and off for many years and have spent most of my life trying to "improve myself" and resolve my issues and while meditation is finally starting to help, there is still so much going on and im just not really sure what to do anymore. should i keep my current sessions just to have a space for venting, or is that actually worth $40/month? is it better than paying $200/session to actually make progress? i'm just so tired.

Venonymous

Date posted: 13h

I am the same. I decided to identify what issue of mine that is top priority for me and make that my main focus. I have boat loads of trauma, depression and anxiety, neurodivergent and just survived cancer and am chronically ill. But OCD has been the main culprit for me not being able to function, so I prioritize that above all else and focus on that. I think the venting is not productive for what treatment you truly need.

a.lea

Date posted: 12h

@Venonymous thank you for sharing, and congrats on beating cancer!! being young and appearing "high functioning" (at least in my case) while having all these invisible illnesses is such a strange, lonely, and grief-stricken experience. i feel like i need social interaction as much or even more than anything else, and it's practically impossible given all the symptoms. i try to hold onto hope that things will get better eventually, but in reality i don't know if they ever will. all there is to say is that this shit sucks 🙃 as for prioritizing, that's a skill that has always been extremely hard for me - i struggle to identify what things should truly take priority over others and then i end up trying to take care of everything at once or nothing at all. but im working on being more patient with myself 🤞

Venonymous

Date posted: 11h

@a.lea Thank you. It suuucked. Highly don't recommend cancer to anyone. I can't seem to find a way to privately message you. If you use discord I have a private server for neurodivergent goofballs. There's maybe like 6 of us in there and we're all crazy but have fun posting horny stuff and meming. Oh and most of us are gay women. Idk if that would be triggering or not. My name screenname is Nighshade_Dreamer

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